


Nakodo Shimei

by t_shirt



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Fluff, M/M, mention of lemon, sap, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:41:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 35,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22269592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/t_shirt/pseuds/t_shirt
Summary: Duo’s unease over his fellow pilot’s lack of happiness in their new world of peace leads to a daring plan to rectify the problem.Older fic again.
Relationships: 1x2 - Relationship, 3x4, 5+all
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Nakodo Shimei

Pairings (eventual 3x4, 1x2), 5+all  
Warnings: Fluff, sap, WAFF ^-^, slight angst, mention of lemon

Summary: Duo’s unease over his fellow pilot’s lack of happiness in their new world of peace leads to a daring plan to rectify the problem. 

DUCK! 

It is not a wise idea to goad Hiiro Yui. I was reminded of this fact when my mouth managed to once again betray me, forcing me to either duck as my mind had screamed in warning, or take a basketball in the head at warp seven. He did give me some warning using a rebound shot off the pavement to bank the ball into the backboard where it bounced solidly into the tattered net. I’m still not quite sure how we found ourselves at the Second Street neighborhood goal post on the outer quarter of L2, but I never really stopped to question it. It seemed natural that Hiiro would turn up sooner or later. 

“Hey!” I groused. “You want to leave my head where it is!?” I grumbled, but he looked entirely unconcerned with my ranting. In fact, if I didn’t know better I’d say his expression was downright smug. 

“You’re down by two,” he replied unrepentant while he retrieved the ball and I should have seen it coming. I did see it coming, but too late to counter when he suddenly side stepped, spun and did that sweet little move where he jumps his entire height off the ground and shoots nothing but net. I can never hear him when he hits the ground on that one. “Make that three,” he grinned. Well, he’d found a way to shut me up for a second. 

“Two, fly boy,” I corrected, snatching the ball away before he could get his grubby hands on it again. “That last one doesn’t count. It was my lead in,” I reminded him taking a shot, but I was off balance because the SOB is just as good at blocking as he is at shooting. Bounced me with his shoulder, the cheat. There was no way I was going to let him get away with that shit, but when I dove for the ball he was right on it and we ended up going down in a tumbling heap. This was pretty much the scene, Hiiro and I scratching and clawing and wrestling and laughing our asses off fighting over the basketball, when a familiar yet oddly intoned greeting came to our ears. 

“Duo?”

We stopped and we were hopelessly tangled up in a sweaty, dirty, scruffy knot in the middle of a parking lot in the dimming evening light, but all the determination to win the ball just kind of bled away at the sound of Quatre’s mild amusement.

“Quatre!” I barked suddenly grasping the full impact of the moment since I hadn’t seen him since the end of the war. We still kept in touch through email and the occasional vid call, but I hadn’t actually seen him face to face in over three months. “Hey, man!” I grinned, untangling myself from Hiiro so we could stand up. 

“Hiiro?” he chuckled sounding as surprised as I had felt when I found him on my street corner the day before. 

“Hello, Quatre,” Hiiro greeted, nodding politely while he tucked the ball under one arm and took that stance I got so used to during the war, the one that seems to radiate a five-feet perimeter force field around him. Standoffish doesn’t really describe it, but it’s the closest I can get. I hadn’t seen it in awhile and I can’t say I liked how it felt. 

“It’s good to see you,” I breathed, still trying to catch my breath. I know the smile on my face must have seemed a little dopey, but I was still pumped up from the game. “What brings you to L2?”

“The relief and restoration effort,” he smiled, though it seemed a bare shadow of the bright sunshine that had once radiated from him and upon closer inspection he looked…really tired. “We’ve come for an assessment of the damage,” he explained. 

“You should’ve told me,” I scolded playfully. 

“I didn’t think I’d have time to get away, but…” he paused while his blue green eyes darted from me to Hiiro and back again. “Am I interrupting?” he asked cautiously. 

“Of course not!” I couldn’t help glancing back at Hiiro to see his reaction while I cupped an arm around Quatre’s shoulder and guided him out of the parking lot, but Hiiro didn’t seem put out about the company so I went with it. “Why don’t you come back to the house with us? I’ll make some tea and we can visit.” He too, gave into the need to look to our silent companion before he relaxed into that soft, almost sad little smile again and nodded. 

Hilde was still working when we got back. I wasn’t thrilled about working with her after all was said and done. For some reason she had developed some kind of mentor complex about me during the war, and everything she did appeared to have some basis in her need for my approval. I suppose she needed guidance and since I was willing to give it she just naturally latched onto me, but honestly, what she needed was a boyfriend to dote over and that was definitely not me. 

“Hey, Hilde,” I smiled casually when we entered and I saw her look to our current house guest with her usual curious congeniality, but her expression brightened somewhat when Quatre stepped in behind him. “Have you ever met Quatre?” I asked heading for the stove while our guests took seats at the small, folding metal table where we ate.

“I don’t believe so,” Quatre smiled in his eloquent way pausing to offer her his hand. “I’m Quatre Raberba Winner,” he intoned amiably, softly touching her outstretched fingers and I swear to the gods the girl blushed. I guess after my rather, ahem, brash company, Quatre was a bit like a polished gem. 

“Of course,” she replied after a moment retrieving her hand slowly. “You’ve done so much to help the people since the end of the war,” she smiled. 

It was nice to hear some of the respect and admiration most of the population felt being put into words for him. He deserved whatever praise was offered, that’s for sure. The guy never even slowed down after that last battle. He and Relena had teamed up and were blazing a trail no one was likely to miss in their effort to settle the peace and restore the colonies and Earth. 

“How’s the campaign going anyway?” I asked, busying myself with making the tea. Hilde kept some around to have with her morning paper, but I rarely drank the stuff. 

“Slow,” he breathed through a sigh that spoke of long days and sleepless nights. It made my stomach hurt for him even though I had to disagree. 

“You’re already reconstructing on Earth, right?” I pointed out, dumping the tea in the basket of the percolator. Why couldn’t she just use the little bags?

“Yes,” he sighed again, “and on L4, but there’s still so much to see to.” 

“It’s only been three months, Quat,” I snorted softly. “You’re doing an amazing job. Give it time.” Why in the hell are there two pots to one of those things? Which one goes where?

“I suppose,” he sighed again. 

“How’s Relena holding up?” I couldn’t help noting the almost imperceptible reaction in Hiiro’s eyes at the mention of the princess’ name. It was still a mystery why they never hooked up. She sure made it clear enough she was interested, but after Hiiro just walked away into the bustling streets of Tokyo, whatever might have been between them just seemed to nod out. No one spoke of it anyway. 

“Relentless,” he chuckled. “She’s been a driving force for us all.” 

“Seems that single minded determination has paid off then,” I laughed lightly because that’s all the present situation would allow. 

Quatre appeared less than enthused about just about anything we spoke of and Hiiro pretty much abandoned any active role in the conversation early on. Hilde knew little about the subject matter and, as always, waited for my lead before commenting. By the time the visit was over, what little joy I had found in Hiiro’s reappearance had been squashed mercilessly under the heel of the collective depression. Quatre left us with the same heavy sigh and dimly lit expression he arrived with, though he did seem a tad less stressed out. 

It wasn’t until almost two weeks later when Hiiro, Hilde and I decided to visit Trowa at the circus during a business trip to Earth that it started to sink in what was going on. Hilde perked up the moment I mentioned the green eyed acrobat while her melancholy mood suddenly shifted to one of delighted anticipation as the day of our visit approached. Catherine was less than happy to see us, of course, but then she’d claimed full rights over Trowa a long time ago. You’d think she’d be happier about how things turned out, but she was as snippy and possessive as ever. It made me wonder if she’d loosen up a little if Trowa finally broke down and peeled her out of that skintight costume she wears, but from the look of the pucker in her face he hadn’t even come close. However, he did seem somewhat…amused…by our presence. 

“Hey, Trowa!” I beamed genuinely glad to see him even if he couldn’t manage more than half a smile. 

“What’re you doing here?” Straight to the point, this one, but seeing as how he wasn’t looking at me I paused. When Hiiro declined to respond with more than a faint smile I decided maybe it was going to be up to me after all. 

“We were in the neighborhood,” I informed him as brightly as one can to someone who is scowling at the bubbling girl at your side. “You remember Hilde?” I sighed unable to hold off the rolling of the eyes when she pushed past me eagerly in spite of his icy gaze. 

“Hi, Trowa!” she squeaked, already blushing furiously while her face flushed and her adoring expression kind of made me feel ill. 

Things went downhill from there. Luckily, Catherine made sure our visit was kept short by finding somewhere else for Trowa to be. He barely got to ask about Quatre and Wufei, how things were going in the Colonies, and if Quatre and Relena had settled on a base of operations yet before he was desperately needed elsewhere. Hilde wilted the moment he left us and couldn’t seem to shake the bitter resentment over Catherine’s interference. 

My revelation perplexed me. I couldn’t figure it out. We’d all come so far and given so much. We deserved this peace. We’d earned the right to some little slice of happiness, but for the life of me I couldn’t see any one of us actually enjoying ourselves. I decided to broach the subject with my unlikely tag along that evening after we retired to our room. 

“Are you happy, Hiiro?” 

“………What?”

Okay. So, maybe that was a little vague. 

“Since the war’s over,” I tried to clarify, making us one of the hot ciders that were complimentary in the hotel, but he just sat down and stared at me and I sighed. “Come on, man,” I whined, wishing he’d just get it for once. “I mean, is it just me or is everyone we know completely miserable?” I handed him his mug before curling up in the other corner of the couch. 

He was quiet for a long moment before he asked, “Are you miserable?”

I snorted, “No,” and laughed, but I don’t think it was the reaction he was expecting. “It’s only been three months,” I reminded him blowing gently over my mug to cool it before taking a sip. “Hell, I don’t even know what I want to do yet,” I confessed. 

“What about Hilde?” he asked evenly tasting his own drink. 

“Man,” I replied. “Do you think she could have been anymore obvious today?” I chuckled. 

“She seemed happy enough when Trowa was around,” he replied and for a moment I thought I caught the glimmer of a smile, but he took another drink and it was gone. 

“Prick,” I laughed. Hiiro’s a very subtle guy, but I’m not that thick. I know when I’m being mocked and he finally gave into the chuckle. “I’m serious though,” I persisted. "Even Wufei. He called me last month looking for information on the docking net for a case he and Sally were working on and even he seemed more irritated than usual.” Hiiro paused in his drinking to look at me and cock a brow. Damn, but he can be exasperating! “You know what I mean, asshole!” I groused slapping at him with a pillow that just grazed so as not to spill his cider. 

“Maybe they just need to get laid,” he laughed and my ears rang when my jaw hit the floor. 

“HIIRO!” I gasped, caught utterly off balance by the uncharacteristic remark. Peace had awakened something inside the perfect soldier, something not altogether unwelcome. It showed in his smile and the almost giddy laughter spilling from him while he fought to keep me from pinching his ass with my toes. I had almost succeeded when it hit me and I froze so solid he paused to consider me. “That’s it,” I breathed letting the plan form in my mind while a huge grin spread across my face when the mission lit that old fire in my eyes. 

“What’s…it?” he asked cautiously not daring to move more than his mouth to speak. 

“They’re lonely,” I surmised hoping it would be enough of an explanation for him to get the idea. Apparently, it was more than enough because he very purposely pushed my feet away, sat his mug down and got up. “Hiiro!” I entreated going after him, but he hurried toward his bed. “Oh, come on!” I whined dancing in front of him. 

“Move,” he ordered sternly. 

“What harm can it do?” I persisted, grinning madly in spite of the solid scowl on his face. “They’re all already miserable,” I argued. 

“I am not a nakodo,” he stated quite clearly and it took me a minute to pull the meaning of the word out of the Japanese file in my head, but when I did I couldn’t help the maniac grin. He got it! He really got it! 

“Nakodo Shimei!” I crowed and I swear to the gods his eyes did that shutter thing like a camera lens when it takes a picture and I faltered and stepped back. He’s…scary when he gets like that, so it took me a second to regroup. “You don’t have to play matchmaker,” I assured him. “Just run interference for me,” I grinned hopefully, but from the look in his eyes he wasn’t buying it. It was beginning to look like ‘Mission Matchmaker’ was going to be a memory before it was conceived and I couldn’t help the deep sigh when he dismissed me altogether and stepped around me. “Why are you here?” I asked softly, though I couldn’t make myself look at him and from what I could see out of my peripheral view he was having the same problem. I hadn’t asked him that even once since his unexplained arrival over two weeks prior because it didn’t really matter, he was there and he wanted to hang out for awhile. His reasons were his own, but at that moment I wanted to know. There was a time of silence that followed in which I thought perhaps he wouldn’t answer, but then he replied very softly. 

“To decide my path.”

It was an…unsatisfying answer at best. “Do they deserve any less than to find their own paths?” I asked, finally finding the courage to turn to face him, though all I could see was the side of his face while he gazed intently at nothing at all. 

“It’s none of my business,” he stated. 

“The welfare of our family and friends is precisely our business!” I growled softly. That damned…detachment of his had always infuriated me. I could not understand how the guy could offer up his life for the sake of a multitude of strangers, yet he couldn’t bring himself to intervene on his own friends’ behalf. “What are you afraid of?!” My voice was rising though I was unsure exactly why my temper was up. “You think just ‘cause you let your chance pass they shouldn’t get one!?” I probably should have shut up at that point because his head snapped around and the look in his eyes was a definite warning, but I’ve never been one to back down once the challenge was made. “I’ve seen you face down some serious shit!” I growled. “I never thought you’d just walk away and not even tell her!” What in the hell was I talking about? And why wasn’t I shutting up in the face of his mounting fury? “But you did, man! If that’s not just cowardly…” It was at this moment that he snapped and I found myself slammed against the wall of the hotel room gasping for air and apologizing profusely. “S...sorry, man...calm down,” I rasped through the strangle hold he had on me and thankfully his grip loosened, but I could see the edge of some tightly controlled emotion wavering in his eyes and logged that one away. Leave the Relena issue alone. I was well prepared to drop the entire idea and see if I could get out with my ass intact when he shocked me by asking… 

“Why?”

I blinked. Ummm…

“Why did you push me?” he persisted and I felt that old, familiar warmth in my chest. It’s a little like watching a child hold a puppy for the fist time. 

“Because I care,” I told him simply and he released me completely. It is at times like that I feel the overpowering urge to take him in my arms and hug him because I get the feeling he has never known what that sort of comfort feels like. “That’s what people who care about each other do,” I informed him. “If you’re unhappy, they try to help you change it.” I could see the argument in his eyes and decided to save him the effort of speaking by adding with a warm smile, “Even when you’re not sure you want it.” 

“I don’t see how finding them a mate will help,” he said and I just about cracked a tooth grinning so hard. I had him! Yes!

“Can’t hurt!” I quipped happily, dancing around him so I wasn’t against the wall anymore. I didn’t miss the long suffering sigh or the slight roll of his eyes in the process, but I was having too much fun going over mission parameters in my head to give it much thought. 

“I assume you have a plan,” he ground out, plopping down on the edge of his bed. 

“We should start with Trowa since we’re already here,” I suggested. 

“Catherine,” he deadpanned, falling back onto the bed. 

“Gods, I hope not!” I retorted, sitting Indian style on my bunk. There was no way I could lay down, there was too much to think about. “That woman’s got a rolling pin with his name on it in her future. No,” I said thoughtfully, “but we need to see how Trowa feels about her before we bring Hilde into the equation.”

“Hilde?!?!” he barked, bolting upright with the most adorably incredulous look on his face and I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me. “But he hates her!” he reasoned. 

“He doesn’t hate her,” I argued. “He just doesn’t know her, and she’s totally hot for him, so it’s as good a place to start as any.” He was staring at me. “What?” Another little laugh found its way out of my throat when he shook his head and turned to burrow down into his covers without another word. “Hiiro?” I inquired while I turned out the lights and got a noncommittal grunt in response. “You’re my partner on this, right?” I wanted the commitment. What I got was something akin to a bear growling in its sleep. “Hiiro?” 

It was most gratifying to hear his grumbled but clearly spoken, “Ninmu ryokai.” 

**

I regretted pulling him in on my little hair brained mission to see to it that our friends found the happiness they’d all worked so hard for when I saw that same guarded expression he’d always worn during the war the next morning. 

“Geez, Hiiro,” I exclaimed feeling the pain of my self inflicted wound every time I glanced over at him. “Lighten up,” I smiled. “We’re not trying to blow their communications net.” I chuckled, but it went over like a lead balloon. We were already at the fairgrounds, though it was late morning and no shows were scheduled until that afternoon. Still, a circus is never idle, so we were forced to weave our way through the bustling workers and practicing performers in our search for the target, but Hiiro seemed less than amused. 

“A mission without guidelines is doomed to failure,” he grumbled, side stepping a little man no more than two feet tall who just happened to roll across our path when his acrobatic group lost their grip on him. 

“Recon,” I clarified. You know, I never realized clowns practice in full makeup, but it was an afterthought while I chuckled at their attempt to ‘save’ the little poodle barking at the top of a loose ladder. “You just keep Trowa busy while I have a little chat with the warden.” He seemed to settle into some groove once he knew what his duties were and moved on while I located our target. Or rather, Catherine’s target since she was the one throwing knives at him. It’s just a little creepy to see that empty expression in his eyes while he’s standing there staring at the point of a knife. It bothered me on a level I hadn’t expected that he was still capable of achieving that depth of... despondency? Detachment? 

We paused to watch while they finished out their session, but from the depth of the knives when they hit the board Catherine was well aware of our presence and she took her dear, sweet time. If Trowa knew we were there he made no indication of it. Actually, I’d say he was totally cut off from the world around him if I didn’t know better, but the reality was he was a Gundam pilot and could probably have given you my pulse rate when he was as focused as he appeared to be at that moment. 

As much as it obviously annoyed her Catherine finally ran out of knives and was forced to acknowledge our presence. The icy glare she offered in greeting wavered under the arctic breeze coming from Hiiro’s cold blue eyes though, and I couldn’t help but grin. Game, set and match. She never stood a chance and turned quickly away to go retrieve her knives. Trowa wasted no time coming over to greet us with something more akin to curiosity in his expression and it became painfully obvious that if left to their own devices he and Hiiro would probably starve to death waiting for the other to speak. However, Catherine took care of that problem. 

“Why are you here?” she demanded stepping up close to Trowa’s side and I made it a point to study his reactions to her and noted that her closeness didn’t appear to bother him. 

“We thought we’d treat you to lunch,” I smiled flashing a particularly comely expression her way. 

“We have work to do,” was her reply, but Trowa was never one to follow the crowd. 

“Where to?” he asked, ignoring her blatant scoff of disapproval. 

“I don’t know,” I replied. “Do you have any preferences?” I asked Catherine and the fact that I’d included her even when she obviously had no interest in accompanying us caught her off guard, so I used the moment to once again offer her a warm and, I hoped, inviting smile. She blushed softly so I think I got it right, but it took less than a second for her to regain her balance and her gray eyes lost all semblance of warmth. 

“You want to take him away again,” she accused and that is when Hiiro decided to completely abandon me and turned away. Great. 

“Actually, I was more concerned...” I began, but was distracted when I caught sight of Hiiro out of the corner of my eye picking up a katana that was leaning against a practicing sword swallower’s case. Trowa was watching him rather intently and I almost cracked a smile when I realized he was doing just what I asked him to by taking Trowa’s focus off of me. I needed to see his true reactions and the only way to do that was to catch him by surprise. “...with taking you away,” I finished more confidently. The comment got our young gymnast’s attention, but the fact that Hiiro had suddenly done this little spin/slice move as if testing the blade and five seconds later the case fell neatly in two seemed to amuse him more. Catherine, on the other hand, was...less than amused.  
“Are you insane?” she snipped, stepping away from me, but I managed to smile and examine Trowa’s mild interest in our conversation at the same time. It seemed Hiiro’s resultant reprimand for having severed the swordsman’s case was minutely more entertaining. “You’re not honestly asking me for a date?!” she asked incredulously. 

“Well,” I smiled chuckling lightly as if it were due to our confrontation, but in all honesty I couldn’t help laughing at how Hiiro was winning the argument without ever speaking a word. He just stood there with the sword in his hand and the guy, who stood a good head and a half taller than him, slowly shrank back until he was apologizing for yelling at him. 

“Honestly, Trowa!” she interrupted heatedly. “Couldn’t you choose friends with more manners!?” she huffed turning on her heel to storm away. 

“She’s not so cold when you’re not a Gundam pilot,” Trowa deadpanned still watching Hiiro. 

“Oh,” I replied doing my best to sound injured instead of amused while I watched Hiiro return the performer’s sword and accept his apology with a curt nod and the guy couldn’t get away fast enough. Having Hiiro around again certainly never left a dull moment. “I thought maybe she was already involved,” I probed. 

“She is,” he said and my heart sank a little. It wasn’t like I didn’t like the girl, but she seemed entirely wrong for Trowa and he certainly wasn’t happy if that was the case. No one with that emptiness in their eyes is whole, but he altered my next line by adding, “They don’t like to advertise.” 

“And you’re okay with it?” 

“I doubt she’d keep seeing him if I didn’t approve,” he snorted. “She’s pretty big on this sibling idea of hers.”

I smiled and visibly relaxed when Hiiro joined us. “So you really have a family now, huh?” I asked offering my Japanese partner a small smile of gratitude, but his expression was nonplussed at best. 

“I don’t mind,” Trowa said while he and Hiiro did that telepathic thing they do with their eyes that I am never privy to, but I got the feeling he was commending Hiiro for some unknown reason or deed. Maybe he didn’t care for the swordsman or something. I wouldn’t know, I don’t really speak eyelash all that well. “It’s nice to have a sister,” he said and clinched the deal. There was nothing between him and Catherine that would stand in the way of his getting to know Hilde better. 

I worked on him over lunch and with Hiiro’s help managed to gain his interest in a visit to outer space. The vacation idea was quickly squashed, and his helping out on the Candon job I had coming up didn’t go over too well either, but when Hiiro mentioned that we would be on L4 the following month to attend a public awareness ball that Quatre and Relena were throwing, he agreed to accompany us. I hadn’t realized he was so interested in the rebuilding effort, but he ended up asking more questions on the subject than I’d ever known him to voice at once before. It made me wonder if he’d chosen the right path after the war. Perhaps he would have been happier helping to put right some of the damage the war had caused. It was a consideration. We left him with a promise to meet on L4 for the gala and I started working on phase two of Mission Matchmaker. 

Chang Wufei.

Ouch. What more can I say? The guy was just a freaking nightmare when it came to socializing. And women? Dear lord. We had our work cut out for us, that’s for sure. He was currently engrossed in a seismic exercise designed to measure the effects of underground detonations on a fissure buried in the Qinghai region of China. I wasn’t going to get away with the ‘we were in the neighborhood’ excuse this time, but Hiiro managed to pull together a reasonable tale involving a possible gundainium ore refinery in the X29994 resource satellite belt near L4. It was enough to explain our presence even if it was nothing more than a vague suspicion Hiiro had. The legitimacy was there, which was what had prompted him to use the excuse since Wufei would, no doubt, check into the information we gave him very thoroughly. 

I had a sneaky suspicion that the source of his irritation when he called me was due to the close proximity of a certain blonde doctor who was currently his closest friend and partner. Just the thought of him alone out there in the middle of nowhere with her without the slightest clue of how to approach her on an intimate level made me want to shake my head and laugh. The poor guy had to be frustrated as hell, so once we’d put Hilde on a shuttle back to L2 we packed our raw nerve and determination and headed east. 

We decided to spend the night in their camp since it had taken us most of the day to hike out to the work site. Sally seemed overjoyed, even relieved, to have us stay and Wufei dove head first into researching Hiiro’s claims. Apparently, recording tremors was not all that exciting. The tension between them was thick and uncomfortable and I could tell they’d been sniping at each other and were holding their tongues because of our presence. We needed to find a way to ease the tension or this little union wouldn’t stand a chance, but what to do? 

Wufei was obviously more than a little interested in investigating the refinery and Sally had no objections to calling it quits on their current assignment, but the idea was to get them both to L4 intact and willing to dance with each other. It struck me that Sally was quite a bit older than him, but he was mature for his age in most respects. Hell, he’d been married and a widower before the age of fifteen, not to mention that whole Gundam pilot/soldier thing. They had a lot in common and they obviously cared for each other, so it seemed reasonable that they might stand a chance together if given a push in the right direction. It was worth a shot. 

It was late evening and we were sitting around the campfire drinking a cup of after dinner coffee while we listened to Wufei grouse about the poor satellite reception when I decided to make an effort to lighten things up and went searching for my music in my bag. Thanks to that modern technology that our Chinese friend was so heatedly cursing about in; I think it was Mandarin; it was hard to tell with him growling like that, I was able to provide a subtle change of mood. I’ve been told I have rather eclectic taste when it comes to music and Podely, my palm sized player and storage device, was well equipped for just about any occasion. I set it up beside me where the tiny speakers thrummed to life with the rich, soothing sounds of some of the best smooth jazz I had ever downloaded and offered my companions a warm smile while I relaxed and tucked my hands behind my head in the hope that they would follow suit. 

“That’s nice,” Sally smiled visibly relaxing right along with me. I always liked Sally. She’s like one of the guys. There’s nothing prissy or artificial about the woman, which, in my mind, made her a pretty good prospect for Wufei. 

“It’s distracting,” Wufei commented dryly, stabbing at his keyboard. 

“Broken Wings,” Hiiro commented softly, slipping down along the pack he was leaning against until he was laid back as casual as you please and I gaped openly at him. 

“You know it?” I asked softly, totally confounded that he knew the song. 

“Melissa Forbes,” he confirmed turning his eyes slowly up to regard me and if for only a moment I felt as if I were looking into the night sky.

“It’s so sad.” Sally sighed, letting the crackle of the fire and the soothing notes of Melissa’s thick tone wash over her until she was inspired to turn her gaze upward and take in the splendor of the distant stars. Wufei had stopped his incessant tacking on his laptop to listen more closely and the lines around his eyes faded until he once again resembled the seventeen year old he was. 

“It’s beautiful,” he finally interjected giving up on the research and setting his equipment aside. 

“Yes,” Hiiro agreed, but the sound of his voice was not something I’d ever heard from him before. It was bass and throaty and I felt it in my spine when he added, “It is,” and blushed right down to the roots of my hair for some reason. I’m not sure if it was the complement on my choice of music or the fact that he was looking at me when he said it, but it left me feeling very warm and oddly embarrassed, so I just closed my eyes and laid back to listen. I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was still watching me though, so it was a great relief when Sally spoke again. 

“Do you miss being out there, Wufei?” she asked, still gazing at the open sky. 

It wasn’t perhaps the most sensitive thing for her to ask I suppose, but she tended to be on the blunt side of things most of the time. Wufei knew this about her and didn’t appear to take her forwardness the wrong way. 

Still, he took a long moment to pause and gaze up into the darkness before he answered with a simple, “Yes.”

“Then go back,” Hiiro deadpanned and my wasn’t he wordy all of a sudden! The last thing I wanted was to remind the guy of what he’d lost. He was supposed to be moving on into the future here!

“I wouldn’t mind working off planet for awhile,” Sally commented. Well that sounded...promising and that starry eyed expression on her face was giving me hope that things might work out after all until Wufei made a sudden and hasty retreat. 

“If you’ll excuse me,” he breathed quickly and was suddenly ducking into his tent. What the hell? 

“There’s nothing for him to go back to,” Sally sighed softly and I could feel the pain in her voice, see the compassion in her eyes and knew beyond the shadow of a doubt she cared deeply for her partner. 

“Way to go, He-man,” I scolded my partner, adding a token poke in the ribs with the toe of my boot as punishment, but he only chuckled softly then sobered and gazed into the sky. 

“Sometimes it’s necessary to visit the past before you can find the future,” he said and my spine did that tingly thing again. Sometimes I got the feeling maybe he was the one that got it and I was the one that was clueless. 

“Yes,” Sally replied with some note of finality in her voice that made it no surprise when she rose to retire. “But his past doesn’t exist anymore,” she reminded us before offering a sad, little smile and returning to her tent. 

“Maybe I should’ve played eighties pop,” I sighed while the music changed to Jeff Smith’s `Dance with You All Night` and let the sultry notes of the guitar and sax soothe my aches and pains just laying back to enjoy the cool evening air. It was some time before Hiiro spoke again and I was set off balance again by words I never thought I’d hear him speak. 

“Duo? Do you ever look at the moon when you’re on Earth?” 

There was a time when I would have pulled off a fingernail to know that he was able to enjoy such things. I always wondered if he ever stopped long enough to notice. “Uh...yeah, of course,” I stammered feeling oddly warm inside again. This peace thing was apparently really good for him. It made me happy to think so. 

“Look,” he said suddenly reaching out to draw me over so I could see where he was pointing. “You can see L1 from here,” he observed and sure enough there it was, a bright silver reflection in the ink black sky. 

“Hey,” I smiled, laying my head beside his in this sort of comfortable, up-side-down position that put our ears next to each other where we rested head to head on the warm Earth. “You can see Citus A, too,” I grinned though the nebula was less than a spec in the sky. Man, but it was so clear that night. It was nothing like being in outer space, but that only seemed to make it all the more enchanting. We laid there for hours mapping out the heavens and arguing over which of the faint dots were actually M17 or the Blackeye Galaxy while Podely sang its soft songs and finally lulled us to sleep. 

When I woke to the brightening morning sky it was to find myself in that same position with my head and Hiiro’s resting together where we had apparently reached out to one another in the night for warmth. I was struck with the knowledge that he smelled sort of sweet. Like...it’s hard to describe, but...warm linen? Or fresh cut, sweet hay on a hot summer day. Shit, never mind, he just smelled sweet somehow. He also had wrapped his arm up and around and entangled my shoulders in it. I was aware that I had done the same and began to work myself free of the embarrassing position before he woke up, but I only managed to cause him to stir and just about swallowed my tongue when he moved in to snuggle me in his sleep. My reaction served to wake him though, which gave me my out and I took it quickly finding myself suddenly jerked right back off my feet when I tried to stand and found my braid was still clutched in Hiiro’s hand. 

“Sorry,” he stammered looking as mortified as I felt while he did his best to move quickly away from me. I just lay there on my back, winded and trying to get a grip on my hammering heart.

“S’ok,” I replied, rolling away. “Are we leaving early?” I asked needlessly, but I was feeling unreasonably nervous. 

“Yeah,” he nodded managing to not look at me and not offend me at the same time while he hurriedly gathered his things. 

“K,” I nodded, stupidly in my opinion. “I’ll, umm, go wake Wufei.” It seemed the logical thing to do. 

Wufei was not happy to be roused at the break of day and I thought Sally was going to drown me in my coffee, but we made it out of there in record time. They stayed behind to finish up the work they’d been doing and agreed to meet us on L2 in two weeks time. In the mean time, Hiiro was expected to gather whatever information he could on the possible refinery that probably didn’t exist and I had to try to teach Hilde the fine art of discretion without her catching on. It crossed my mind to offer to trade tasks with Hiiro, but I’m pretty sure he would have hurt me, so I kept my big mouth shut. 

Over the next two weeks Hiiro managed to make himself pretty scarce running off for days at a time to do his job he claimed, but I still think he just didn’t want to be anywhere near Hilde while I was working with her, the coward. Hell, after the second day I didn’t want to be there! I started by mentioning Trowa as often as possible hoping to desensitize her to the subject, but it only seemed to annoy her and send her off into huffy rants about Catherine and her overbearing posture where he was concerned. The worst part was that by the end of the first week I was getting the feeling the only thing she actually felt for him was some sort of school girl crush because nothing she said was based on any reality. I continually had to remind her that he was a mercenary and a soldier, but she’d just sigh that dreamy sigh and go on about how great he looks in spandex and gloves. Now, whereas I couldn’t argue the point it was becoming painfully clear that all she could see was glitter and gluteus maximums and that was just not what Trowa Barton was all about. I was getting desperate and was more than glad that Hiiro had returned late into the second week. It was a long shot, but he’d spent more time with Trowa than any of the rest of us, so I figured maybe he’d have something more to offer. 

“Hey, man,” I greeted amiably when I strode into the yard where Hiiro was tinkering with an old Leo ion drive. “You busy?”

“No,” he replied, pushing himself out from under the bulk of the equipment. His face was smudged with grease and he was wearing that same kind of green tank top he’d worn so much during the war and I couldn’t help but smile because he really did look kind of ridiculous sitting there on the ground in the middle of my junkyard. Weird thing was, six months before he’d have told me to get lost and never stopped working. “What’s the matter?” he asked wiping his hands as he got up. 

“We might need a new angle,” I sighed and I could see Hilde moving around in the kitchen inside while she cleaned up after dinner and paused to consider her for a moment. 

“You were right about her interest in Trowa,” he said supportively leaning beside me against the drive he’d been working on. 

“Yeah,” I snorted, “but I can’t seem to get her past the beef cake and glamour.” 

“She just doesn’t know him that well yet,” he countered. 

“What do you think he’d like in a girl?” I asked. 

“Why are you asking me?” he snorted. 

“Well,” I reasoned, pulling one leg up and pushing back to sit on the drive so I could face him, “you know him better than I do.” 

“I know he prefers KL32 Mags to Sidney Rockets,” he chuckled, flashing what I can only describe as a smart ass look from under his bangs, “but I have no idea what he might like in a woman,” he stated flatly, but I could hear the teasing under the tone. 

“You are mocking me,” I sighed trying not to grin and failing. 

“Why don’t you just give it a rest and see if having Sally around helps when she and Wufei arrive?” he suggested. 

Sounded like a plan to me. I was exhausted just thinking about it, so I nodded and turned my attention to other things. “What’re you doing anyway?” I asked checking out the drive a little closer now that my mind was clearing a bit. 

“There’s a housing for this drive in the back lot,” he reminded me. The old suit had been there since before the war actually, though I’d never even looked twice at the empty hull, but I recalled it when he mentioned it. “It should be useful on the Candon job,” he explained. “We might need the mobility.”

“No shit?” I inquired bending down to get a better look at his repairs. I hadn’t considered it and it wasn’t really necessary, but it would be nice to know it was available. “That was really cool of yo...” I began, but when I turned back to look at him he was smiling and I kind of lost track of what I was saying because I can’t say I’d ever seen him smile like that before. Peace looked really good on him. 

“Would you like to help?” he asked letting the smile quirk into that little smirk he’s so good at and I felt myself blushing for no reason again and looked away. 

“Sure. You got a fusion torch out here?”

“In the tool box.”

“What the hell di’ju do to the wiring harness? Geez,” I grumbled examining the jumble of colored wires. 

“I had to bypass a few circuits,” he chuckled and we crawled under the assembly together. 

The next thing I knew it was dawn and Hilde was growling about us staying up all night working and I was sorry the day cycle had rolled around. It was a lot of fun to work with Hiiro again even though we’d argued over everything from how to wire a hydraulic control panel relay to what color my eyes are. They are violet, not purple. I think he’s color blind. 

“You’re both filthy,” Hilde was grousing while we pulled our aching bodies out from under the machinery. “I’ve already made breakfast,” she added huffily. “Again,” she emphasized taking that ‘uh huh, that’s right’ stance women seem to be born knowing how to do. 

“Sorry.” I chuckled for no good reason, but the silly grin on Hiiro’s face was making me feel a bit giddy. Gods, I was so tired all of a sudden. “I’ll make dinner tonight,” I promised. 

“You’ll have to,” she told me. “I’m going to visit Marcus tonight, remember?”

“Oh, that’s right,” I replied ignoring the rolling of her eyes and choosing to answer Hiiro’s questioning glance instead. “Her brother,” I explained. “He lives in the central band in the K section on the other side. She won’t be back until tomorrow.”

“I could make something,” he offered. 

“Naw, man, you’re a guest,” I countered. 

“Is that all I am?” he asked and just about knocked me right back off my feet with the question. 

“Um...I...uh...wh...” shit. 

“Of course not,” Hilde came to my rescue and saved me from choking on my foot. The last thing I wanted to do was offend him, but I seriously didn’t know how to answer. “You’re family,” she smiled just as effortlessly as you please and I suddenly felt like a total moron. “Come on,” she went on curling her hand into the crick of his arm and leading him away into the house. “I’ll show you what we have in the kitchen,” she was saying, but her eyes were glancing back at me with this oddly affectionate reprimand. “You might want to go shopping though…” I used my rag to wipe the fried egg off my face and followed, but I couldn’t shake the feeling I’d just missed something pretty important. 

We decided to shower before we ate, or rather, Hilde insisted that we shower before we ate since we were both covered in dirt and grease, so I went to clean up first while she helped him make a grocery list and just about fell on my ass when I opened the door and ran headlong into Hiiro when I was through. He’d stripped to his boxers, had a towel draped over one shoulder and I bounced off his chest like I’d run into a brick frigging wall! By all that’s holy, I swear the guy’s got the same density as cobalt steel. 

“Geez, man,” I groused regaining my balance. “Warn a guy, will’ya?”

“Next time,” he grinned and it made me just want to smack him. 

“You might want to wait ten minutes for the water to heat back up,” I told him, moving toward the door, but he apparently had no intention of making way, so I was forced to squeeze by him in the narrow doorway sucking in as far as I could so as not to maul him on my way out. 

“You should get some sleep,” he advised turning sideways now that I was outside, the prick. “Bloodshot doesn’t really go with violet,” he smiled, then closed the door in my face and I was left staring dumbstruck at the steel gray panel. Well shit. Maybe the problem wasn’t so much that he was color blind as he was just an ass! 

“Prick,” I chuckled and turned my attention to finishing my morning duties so I could go the hell to bed, where I slept for over twelve hours. 

I’m not sure if it was the thick aroma of grilled chicken or my bladder trying to crawl away and relieve itself that woke me, but the bladder won the toss on where was I headed first. I didn’t bother putting on anymore clothes than the white PJ bottoms I always sleep in since I knew Hilde would have already left and just wandered through the hall letting my nose lead my watering mouth to wherever that delicious aroma was coming from. It felt so odd having slept through the day. The fact that it was dusk and Hiiro hadn’t bothered to turn on any of the lights gave the entire situation a surreal air that left me feeling off balance and unfocused. I must’ve stood for a full ten seconds staring into the empty kitchen before I realized he was in the living room. 

“Hey,” I greeted softly as I padded quietly along because anything more would have seemed intrusive in the low light and oddly placating scene in my living room. 

He looked up at me, up because he was sitting on the floor leaning back against the couch. There were two plates of something that smelled decadently delicious on the coffee table in front of him and the vid was on, but the sound was turned down almost inaudibly. My mouth suddenly felt like someone had poured sand down my throat and I felt the sudden urge to go find a shirt when I noticed he was wearing this deep blue, silky looking button up. It hung open, baring his chest and stomach and it took me a second to identify it as his silk PJ’s, but he was still one up on me since I wasn’t wearing a shirt at all. I don’t know if it bothered him, but he definitely noticed because I saw his eyes look me over and ended up crossing my arms over my chest. 

“What’s all this?” I managed to push past the fleshy lump my tongue had suddenly become. 

“Chicken Curry,” he smiled lifting his hand to display the chopsticks expertly clutched in his fingers while he smirked, “Asian style.”

It was then that I noticed the pillows he was sitting on and the pile meant for me along the adjoining edge of the table. It was so simply elegant, the mismatched salt and pepper shakers, paper napkins folded like linen, a stubby emergency candle burning under the overturned, transparent iris of an Aries. 

“You did all this?” I asked forgetting my shyness in favor of more pertinent subjects. Like plopping my skinny ass down on those pillows and putting that curry behind my ribs were it belonged. 

“I can cook,” he retorted dryly, opening my chopsticks and handing them to me. 

“I know that,” I grumbled. “But all this,” I said motioning to the candle and napkins and, I finally realized, the video taped fireplace on the vid screen. 

“You disapprove?” he asked uncertainly and it is a very eerie feeling to hear uncertain expectation in Hiiro Yui’s voice, so if I wasn’t totally off balance before, that sure as hell rocked my axis. 

“Naw, man, it’s nice but…”

“Isn’t that reason enough?” he cut me off.

I sat there staring at him like some kind of total spaz, but the inside of my head was suddenly moving too fast for me to keep up. I think he could tell because he looked way too smug smirking while he stabbed a piece of chicken and brought it to his lips and suddenly everything was moving in super-slow-mo. I swear my brain took in the moment frame by frame so it could torture me with it in minute detail at a later time. I am not unaware of my attraction. It’s just that whenever it bubbles up to the point I can’t ignore it, like when he gently parted his lips and took that bit of chicken between his teeth, gods, I could see the tip of his tongue coming up to taste the spiced sauce. Shit...where was I? Oh yeah, anyhow, it never fails that when one of these moments catches me off guard a vision of Hiiro and Relena dancing together on some puffy, pink cloud meanders along and melts whatever dream my mind was trying to form. 

“What about Relena?” I heard myself say and found my eyes were suddenly studying my dinner. 

“What?” he inquired and my chest constricted with the sound of it. Why did he sound hurt?

“She deserves a shot at this too,” I told him hoping for once I wasn’t stepping over a line that would get me nailed to the wall praying for mercy. 

“I don’t think she’s really interested in a companion,” he replied dejectedly and it was amazing how quickly the wind had just vanished from his sails. I can’t say it didn’t hurt, it always does, but like it or not he deserved a shot at this as well. 

“You haven’t exactly given her a chance,” I reminded him gently, bracing for the inevitable explosion my meddling usually caused, but it never came. What was left of his earlier mood bled away with a huge sigh of frustrated defeat while he dropped his chopsticks into his half eaten plate and sat back. 

He was quiet for a very long time just staring at nothing and thinking, so I let him. This wasn’t a subject that usually brought good results between us so it was necessary to tread cautiously. “What would you do?” he finally asked. 

“You might start by not treating her like an infectious disease,” I snorted softly. “That kind of relationship demands a touch of the physical you know? You have to stop acting like you’re going to shatter if she holds your hand.” I felt my heart skip a beat when his eyes turned to look at my hand while I stirred my rice absently. 

“Have you ever..?” he asked leaving the question open and for a moment I felt my face flame at the implication, but he couldn’t possibly have been asking that!

“Sure,” I stammered setting my chopsticks down. “Sister Helen used to hold my hand all the time.” Geez, he looked like he’d swallowed a whale there for a second. 

“Was it... nice?” he inquired almost shyly and my pulse did that tumble down the hill thing again. We were treading on dangerous ground for me, but I wasn’t going to bail on him. He needed this. 

“Yeah, it was,” I smiled offering him my hand in the hope that it might encourage him to be more open with his touch. I could not begin to dictate all the feelings that flooded through me when he took me up on the offer and I almost wanted to pull away and retract it. My hands, they’re not pretty, they’re not soft and they sure as hell aren’t feminine. They’re calloused and scarred and looked knobby and broken resting in the warm cradle of his palm, but...it felt good. Very good. So good, in fact, that I became aware of the fact that I was trembling too late, and when I glanced up to see if he’d noticed the look in his eyes just about knocked me senseless and I ended up spilling my drink I jerked away so hard.

“Ah, shit, sorry!” I grimaced moving as quickly as I could to keep the tea from drenching the carpet. “Sorry...my fault,” I muttered sopping up the spill with my napkin. 

“Duo.”

“I got it. Hand me your napkin.”

“I am not in love with Relena Peacecraft,” he said evenly holding the napkin out to me, but all I could manage was to stare past it into his eyes. 

“What?” I asked intelligently. 

“Not the way you think I am,” he explained and I’m afraid I blinked at him. “Not the way she wants me to be,” he concluded covering my hand with his napkin and I finally snapped out of it and let him help me finish cleaning up the spill. 

I swallowed the first few things that tried to crawl out of my throat. I had been so sure. We all had, but Hiiro wasn’t someone who would speak of things like that lightly. He knows himself better than most people know their own names, so if he said he wasn’t in love with Relena, I had no reason to doubt him. Still… 

“But...I thought...”

“You thought wrong,” he whispered and I was suddenly aware of the fact that he was...very close. I couldn’t think. His hand was on mine and the napkins were bunched up under our fingers where his grip was firm. The warmth of his cheek was so close to mine I found myself growing dizzy from the rush of elation gurgling inside me as my mind grasped desperately for something tangible to latch onto. 

“Quatre,” I breathed. 

“What?” he grumbled sitting back suddenly. 

“Quatre and Relena,” I said clinging to the only thought that had presented itself and he...growled. He laid his head back on the couch and just growled. “No wait,” I persisted. “It makes sense right? If you’re really not in love with her, then he’d be the next best choice.” Why did I get the feeling he wasn’t really listening to me? “They come from the same station, right?” I persisted growing fonder of the idea as I spoke. “They’re both into politics and come from old money. Come on, man.”

It took him a long moment, but he finally lifted his head giving me this little noncommittal nod and picked up his chopsticks and we spent the rest of the evening talking over the possibilities of a union between our two politician friends. Or, well, I talked while he grunted appropriately and ate his rice one grain at a time. We ended up sleeping there in the living room with me on the couch and him on the floor on the pillows he’d piled up for us to sit on. I don’t think either of us slept more than a couple of hours because of our long day nap, but it was enough to get our nights and days switched back around. I woke before dawn to find him missing again, but that was nothing uncommon lately. Especially when he knew I was going to be dealing with Hilde, so I tugged on my bootstraps, gathered my determination and started formulating a plan to offload the entire thing on Sally the moment she arrived. The fact that Hiiro was not in love with Relena was of no consequence. Really, it wasn’t. 

**

Wufei and Sally arrived two days later and were a welcome sight in spite of the fact that they didn’t seem to be able to co-exist in the same room without sniping at one another and I hate to say it, but Sally was instigating most of it. The woman just seemed to have it in for him for some reason and he was near the end of his patience from what I could see. When she started in on him about the way he was making his toast I figured it might be a good idea to put some distance between them for awhile and suggested the girls go shopping for the afternoon. I knew from Sally’s eagerness and Hilde’s excitement at being able to show off all her favorite haunts, not to mention the relieved gratitude in Wufei’s eyes, that I’d done the right thing. I needed to find out what Sally’s deal was before I could hit her up for advice on how to chill Hilde out when it came to Trowa. 

Wufei physically relaxed the moment they were gone, settling in the living room with the paper and a cup of hot tea, but I couldn’t recall seeing him read so much during the war and paused a moment to assimilate the fact that he apparently uses reading glasses. 

“Is there something you need?” he asked without lifting his eyes from the print. 

“How in the hell do you aim without your glasses?” I asked stunned by the very idea that anyone could perform with his accuracy without being able to see clearly. 

“I only use them for reading,” he replied evenly. 

“Oh,” I nodded helping myself to a seat in the armchair. “Hiiro left some files for you to look over,” I informed him and he finally looked up from his paper. 

“Where are they?” he asked, setting it aside. 

“On the house system in my office,” I replied. “I can download them to your laptop if you want.”

“I’ll get it,” he said, getting up to do just that. 

“So what’s Sally’s problem?” I hedged. 

“I have no idea,” he sighed as I followed as far as the guest room door and watched while he pulled his laptop out of his bag. “Maybe she just needs to get laid,” he commented when he brushed by me and I swear I heard the distinct ringing of a bell. Two seconds later I was trying not to choke to death while I followed him into my office. Holy geez! 

“Are you set up for networking?” he asked just as if he hadn’t just turned my brain inside out. 

“Uh...yeah,” I grunted since I left the connection cable jacked in because Hiiro was on and off the system so much. It only took Wufei a minute to start the transfer. 

“Has she mentioned the ball?” I asked after a time while we looked over the files he was downloading. 

He paused for a long moment, then turned slowly to gaze at me with the most adorably lost expression in his eyes and I almost laughed out loud. Almost. 

“On L4,” I prompted, but all I got was one elegantly raised brow. Wufei has this way of moving that kind of makes him look like some artistic god got out his paints and brushed his features to life. I knew if he’d just loosen up and find that calm, peaceful center he’d have to beat the women off with a stick. I was certain he could make Sally happy. 

“The public awareness ball Quatre and Relena are throwing?” I explained and finally seemed to spark some memory. 

“No,” he intoned turning his attention back to his work. 

*sigh* 

“Why don’t you two come with us?” I suggested as nonchalantly as I could manage. 

“We have work to do,” he replied. 

“Yeah, but Quatre would appreciate the support.” Working on his sense of responsibility wasn’t perhaps the noblest thing I’ve ever done, but I was getting desperate. “Besides,” I added hopefully, “I bet Sally would love it if you took her.” 

I couldn’t help watching him closely out of the corner of my eye to see his reaction, but all he said was, “She will go if she wants to.” 

Geez! “Yeah,” I grumbled, plopping down in my favorite chair and kicking it back against the counter on two legs. “But she’d probably like it if you went with her.” 

“She worries too much,” he informed me, unhooking his laptop before standing to leave. 

“Well that’s just ‘cause she cares about ya, man,” I shot quickly at his back and he paused, but didn’t say anything before he moved off down the hall and went into his room. “He’s as pig headed as Hiiro,” I sighed to myself, dropping my head in my hands so I could scrub the fatigue out of my face. This wasn’t going as well as I’d hoped. Maybe I’d have better luck with Sally. 

Things were looking a bit better when the girls returned as they were both in bright spirits and giddy as hell. It made me smile just to be around them and the best part was Sally seemed as relaxed as she ever had. Even Hilde appeared content and offered to make dinner without asking me or probing me for the menu! Sally offered to help, then they were off and running on a steady commentary about their day at the mall, the park, their luncheon at the café by the huge central fountain in Commerce Park and the subsequent hilarity when some poor schmuck pissed his girlfriend off and got pushed in. I was laughing right along with them before long and suddenly found myself having a great time making the salad while they bounced around in this oddly choreographed dance that was quickly bringing about the makings of a very nice dinner. It was fun. They were really good together and it made me feel happy that Hilde had found a new friend. It seemed like a good time to broach the subject of her current crush and see how this new mood would change her perspective. They were talking about cutlery and the proper use of a spatula so I nabbed the closest thing I could to Trowa’s profession. 

“A spatula is a spatula,” I interjected pulling one of the long carrots from the bunch beside me. “But a good knife is priceless,” I told them demonstrating by quickly chopping the vegetable in true chef’s style. “At least that’s what Trowa says,” I added, bringing his name into the conversation. 

“I would think he would,” Sally snorted. 

“Catherine’s the one that throws them at him,” Hilde snipped losing some of her gaiety.

“Yes, but as the target. I imagine he’s pretty particular about what’s being thrown at him,” Sally chuckled offering Hilde a piece of the beef she was cooking. 

“He should tell her to mind her own business,” my roommate groused, accepting the tidbit from Sally’s fingers. 

“Do I detect a note of dissatisfaction?” Sally grinned. 

“She’s hot for him,” I chuckled, then laughed out loud when Hilde turned six shades of purple and threw a piece of potato at me. 

I was preparing to retaliate with my arsenal of carrots until Sally dropped the line, “I thought he was gay,” and the entire room froze. 

“What?” 

“He’s what?” Hilde joined me on the crestfallen wagon of disbelievers. 

“Why would you say that?” I asked. 

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “Just a feeling I guess.’ 

“Well he’s not,” Hilde stated defiantly. 

“Not everyone is heterosexual,” Sally countered. 

“Well,” Hilde countered sounding impatiently offended by the notion when she insisted, “he is.” 

I have to admit it was rocking my world a little, too. Trowa? Gay? The notion had never crossed my mind. I mean I like Hii... guys, but no one knows that but me, so could it be possible? I’d certainly never noticed anything that would make me think so. It’d sure put the kibosh on Hilde’s aspirations if it were true. Hell, maybe I should ask him out………………okay...maybe not. 

“Wanting him to be het isn’t going to make it so,” Sally was saying. 

“No one that good looking and brave could be a homo,” Hilde countered. 

“Excuse me?” I snapped. Damn it! Shut UP Maxwell!!!

“Who’s a homo?” Wufei asked walking in at just that moment and inadvertently saving me from foot in mouth disease, but I didn’t miss the sly little glance Sally tossed my way. 

“No one,” Hilde sighed. 

“Trowa,” Sally sniggered. 

“I thought he was dating Catherine,” Wufei commented. 

“Naw,” I interjected avoiding Sally’s gaze. “She’s a little too sisterly for him. Hilde here’s the one who wants to gain his affections,” I said turning the focus of the conversation back on my flailing roomy. 

“That would be a futile effort if he’s gay,” Wufei reasoned, checking out what Sally was cooking. 

“He’s not gay,” Hilde maintained. 

“You sound as though you disapprove,” Wufei commented. 

“No,” she shrugged. “I just don’t think he is.” 

“You mean you don’t want him to be,” Sally chuckled, offering Wufei a bit of beef this time. 

“I think I could tell if he were,” Hilde grumbled. 

“There is nothing wrong with being homosexual,” Wufei interjected, taking a seat at the table with me and I couldn’t help grinning at him. 

“I didn’t say there was,” my roommate countered defensively, “but he doesn’t act like one, so...” 

“He doesn’t act like one?” Sally laughed. “You talk like gays are a separate race,” she chuckled tolerantly, which was good because I was finding her attitude kind of offensive and it took the edge off. 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Hilde sighed, “but you know how they are,” she added, squashing any sympathy the first comment had gained her. 

“You might be very surprised by the sexuality of those around you,” Sally intoned very evenly managing to grace me with this little, sidelong glance that made me feel as though I’d been turned inside out. Well shit. The woman was quick, I’ll give her that.  
“Well, I’m not going to give up,” Hilde retorted. “I don’t think he’s anymore gay than...Duo is,” she proclaimed tossing a hand in my direction, and if it hadn’t been for Sally’s sudden and uncontrollable coughing fit they all would have seen my cheeks catch fire. I used the cover to beat a hasty retreat and got the hell out of there before I said something very wrong. I intended on holing up in my room for a bit, but when I got there it was to find Hiiro asleep in my bed. Hn. 

“Hey...Hiiro?” I inquired softly, wondering when he got back while I brushed his shoulder lightly to wake him. 

“Hmm, Duo?” he groaned, fumbling to snag my hand. “What time is it?”

“Four...”

“Thirty,” he finished, nodding groggily and I couldn’t help smiling at his sleep tousled self. The image had distracted me momentarily, but the fact that he hadn’t released my hand yet was starting to send a heat wave up my arm and make me squirm, so I wrenched it free and sat on the bed beside him. 

“How long have you been back?” I asked. 

“Few hours,” he replied, waking a bit more. 

“Uh…why are you in my bed?” 

“Wufei was in the guest room,” he explained and I felt a little of the discomfort bleed away and nodded. “I’ll take the couch while they’re here,” he offered. 

“Actually, I let Sally have this room,” I informed him. “Well, I couldn’t ask them to share a bed,” I explained when he cocked a brow. 

“I can go to a hotel then,” he sighed covering his eyes with one arm. He looked dead tired and I had to wonder if he’d slept much at all since he left. 

“We can share the couch if you want,” I offered and he was back to quirking that brow again. “It folds out into a bed,” I informed him and felt the bands tighten in my stomach when I realized what I’d just done. 

My first instinct was to pull away and get out of there when he drifted back under the blanket of sleep and absently brushed his hand down my arm until he was holding my hand again, but I couldn’t make myself move. He was just dreaming and needed a hand to hold. He was tired and had just come home from a long trip. He just wanted some sort of comfort and didn’t know how it would affect me. He was just...so damn beautiful. I knew I would feel guilty as hell later, but I sat there and let him hold my hand and loved every single second of it. It seemed like no more than a moment had passed when I heard Hilde calling out that dinner was ready and I was forced to abandon the moment. If I had realized what a lasting impression it was going to leave maybe I wouldn’t have allowed myself that moment. Maybe. But it was so sweet I still had a hard time slipping away and I was still fighting off a rather insistent warm fuzzy when I walked out the door, but froze when I heard him call my name. 

“Duo?”

“You’re awake?” I stammered, wondering if he was aware of my transgression. 

“I’m hungry,” he grunted, pulling himself up out of my bed. It was at that moment that Sally once again made it clear they were ready to eat by singing my name at the top of her lungs. 

“It would appear you have impeccable timing,” I grinned while Hilde chimed in and sang my name with Sally again. “We’re coming already!” I shouted. 

“We?” they replied in unison. 

Dinner was a happy affair for the most part. With Hilde around taking Sally’s focus off of Wufei, things were downright pleasant and the best part was that having Sally around gave Hilde someone else to follow around. It would seem the girls had bonded during their afternoon together and I was glad because that meant that Sally shouldn’t have any problems worrying over Hilde with me. I was a little apprehensive about diving into the Trowa issue again and decided to take a different tack. Somehow they had gotten on the subject of a magazine article and were twittering over how hot the guy in the movie was. It gave me an opening. 

“How can you just ogle him like that?” I asked over my plate of beef stroganoff. “He might be a total asshole for all you know.” 

“Who cares,” Sally chortled. 

“He probably has a girlfriend or a wife,” I persisted. 

“I don’t care if he has a boyfriend,” she smirked and I almost dropped my fork. “It’s not like I want to take him home,” she chuckled and it was becoming clear that she bore the same ability as Hiiro to make me just want to smack the shit out of her. 

“Yeah,” Hilde interjected. “He’s just so dreamy,” she sighed picking up the magazine to gaze at. 

“He wouldn’t be so dreamy if he turned out to be a letch,” I deadpanned. 

“Stop messing with the dream, Maxwell,” Sally scolded and even Wufei sniggered. 

“Nightmare is more likely,” our Chinese friend opined, glancing at the guy’s picture on the page. 

“Being pretty doesn’t make the man a masher,” Sally grumbled. This conversation wasn’t exactly going where I hoped it would. 

“It does when he’s using it to manipulate others,” Wufei countered. 

Ut oh. 

“He’s an actor, Chang,” Sally snipped. “That’s his job”. 

“A job he chose willingly,” he retorted and I knew we were in trouble when I saw that glint in the depths of those black eyes of his and turned my best pleading gaze on Hiiro hoping that he’d bail me out while Wufei went for the throat. “A pretty cover doesn’t make the book worth reading,” he intoned flatly and then Sally’s eyes were flashing but Hiiro had gotten the message. 

“Being beautiful doesn’t mean there’s nothing worthy inside either,” he said and the room went strangely still. It’s odd, maybe because he speaks so little, but when he does people listen. “Sometimes,” he went on, turning to hold my eyes for a moment, “what’s inside is so brilliant anything less than a beautiful binding would seem…sacrilegious.” It felt like a very long time before anyone spoke again and when Sally did it was a bit like someone had slapped me with a cold fish.

“There, ya see?” she grinned triumphantly. 

They said more. I recall the conversation meandered from there, but where it ended up, your guess is as good as mine because I couldn’t stop thinking about what he said and the fact that he was looking at me when he said it. I decided right then that he could have the couch and I’d sleep on the floor because there was no way I was going to be able to share a bed with him. It took a full two days to cut back the vines of hope that had sprouted when that little seed in my heart drank in those words and turned them into what I wanted to hear. He was doing his job, nothing more, and after some time had passed and those visions of him and Relena danced across my mind a couple of times, I was feeling pretty foolish. He said he didn’t love her, but she definitely cared for him, so the possibility of his feelings changing was still there. That was something I hadn’t really thought too far into. If she was still hung up on Hiiro it was going to be difficult to get her to look at Quatre. It was time to move on to phase three of my mission. 

I waited for a Sunday when I knew she and Quatre would be taking some time off. Everyone needs a moment to take a breath, even those two, and Sunday afternoon was their usual rest and relaxation period. I knew this because it was during these times that Quatre usually found time to call me, but I didn’t wait for him this time. It was necessary to catch him before the morning meetings were over so I could put my plan into action. My timing was perfect, if I do say so myself, as they were just coming out of the last meeting for the day when I called. I made sure Hiiro was nowhere to be seen so as not to get her started on that little fantasy and did my best to act as normal as possible. She’s never been one to speak to me for long periods of time. I think my casual manor offends something in her base upbringing, so it wasn’t long before she politely excused herself and I was free to prod Quatre a little. 

“She looks tired,” I commented once she was gone. 

“It’s no wonder,” Quatre sighed. “I’ve never known anyone so single mindedly stubborn,” he chuckled and it was promising to hear the affection and respect in his tone. 

“Workin’ ya hard is she?” I laughed. 

“To say the least,” he replied. “But it’s good. Things are rolling now, so it should start to get a little easier,” he told me. 

“The ball should help.” 

“Yes,” he agreed. “The more public awareness, the more help we should get from the citizens. There’s just so much to be done,” he added sounding very tired again. 

“You okay, man?” I asked genuinely concerned because it made my heart hurt to see his eyes so dim. 

“Just tired,” he sighed. 

“Sounds like you two need a break,” I smiled and though it worked into my plan I meant it sincerely. I could hear the weight of the world in his tone. 

“Maybe after the ball,” he commented distantly. He was obviously thinking on something pretty hard, but I had no clue what it might be. Meetings, no doubt. 

“Why not take a mini-vacation this afternoon?” Okay, so I’m shameless, bite me. He needed some ‘me’ time. 

“What do you mean?” he asked half heartedly. 

“Grab Relena and go have some fun,” I suggested. 

“Oh, I don’t think…” he began, but I cut him off. 

“Take her to a play or the opera or something,” I encouraged. “You both like the same stuff. I’m sure you could find something relaxing to do. It’ll be fun.” 

“The London Symphony is in town,” he sighed though he didn’t seem more than mildly interested, but at least he was considering it. 

“There you go!” I enthused. “It’ll be good for you both.”

“I’ll ask her,” he sighed again and it just made me wish I could reach through the vid and give him a hug. Sometimes I felt like a real ass for not playing a bigger role in the clean up effort, but in all honesty, I’d really suck at the job so it was better to leave it to those with the aptitude for it. 

He was quiet for a long moment and I was taken by the fact that he was absently playing with his pen and had that distant fog in his eyes again when he quietly asked, “Have you heard from Trowa…or Wufei?”

“Wufei’s here now,” I told him. “Along with Sally. They’re into this investigation with Hiiro. You want to talk to him?” 

“No,” he sighed, shaking his head. “Just tell them I said hi. I should go now and see when the next show starts.”

“Um…okay,” I acquiesced, but I got the feeling I wasn’t quite up to snuff on the tail end of the conversation. “Have a good time,” I added, hoping he wouldn’t just abandon the idea once we hung up. He nodded and offered me that sad, little smile, then he was gone and I felt like I had hopelessly failed him in some way. 

“Do you think she’ll go?” I asked Hiiro since he was lingering in the doorway where I couldn’t see him. 

“Maybe,” he replied coming on into the room. 

“It really doesn’t bother you?” I had to ask. 

“No.”

“She’d be yours for the taking, you know?” I felt compelled to remind him. 

“She’s not the one I want,” he said softly and I’ll be damned if my chest didn’t flutter like a preteen schoolgirl. I was just about to ask him who it was he did want, since that comment implied there was someone, but it would have been hard to get over Sally’s bellowing when she chased Wufei down the hall. 

“I said I could do it, Chang!”

“Hiiro,” Wufei sighed, doing his best to ignore his partner altogether. “Would you mind having a look at the encryption on some files for me?”

“You are such an ass!” Sally growled. “I told you I could handle it!”

“Yes, but he can do it twice as fast,” Wufei replied evenly. 

“Sure,” Hiiro smirked. 

“Damn, pigheaded men!” she snarled, turning on her heel to storm off back down the hall. 

“Thank you,” Wufei sighed and I ended up chuckling with Hiiro because the words held more meaning than simple gratitude for his technical services. 

The fact that Hiiro had implied there was someone he’d like to get closer to had not evaded me though, and I felt it starting to sink in once they left me alone and I couldn’t help wondering who it might be. There wasn’t a soul on Earth or in space that I could think of he had ever shown an interest in other than Relena, and it appeared we had all been dead wrong about his feelings for her. So, Hiiro was in love. My heart hurt, but I couldn’t help grinning a little at the thought that he might find that kind of happiness. Whoever it was, they were the luckiest person alive, that’s for sure. 

**

The mission ended up having to take a backseat to the job for a while after that. Wufei was intent on pursuing the investigation, which from what I could tell was going pretty much nowhere. On the dark side this was causing Wufei undue stress and frustration, but on the light Sally seemed to be having a blast hanging out with Hilde. I figured once the investigation petered out Wufei would calm a little and come around on his own, but in the meantime it was time to get down to the business at hand. 

Elmer Wallace Candon was a scholar and professor and one of the few notable personages during the natal years of after colony history who valued the written word. It was his determination to preserve the printed treasures of mankind that led to the construction of the Sanctum. It is essentially a storage facility that was created to house the wealth of Earth’s parchment bound thoughts. There was a time during the early years when books were in danger of being irretrievably eradicated from existence altogether. The logic was that they are heavy and cumbersome and it was just so easy to transfer the words onto disk or hard drive, which was a much more practical storage device by far, but good old Elmer had a thing for the feel and weight of the books in his hand and refused to allow their annihilation. And I whole heartedly agree with him. That was the main reason I agreed to take on the job of moving the immense vessel to its new home nestled in a comfortable orbit around the X1999 colony. There it was destined to be reopened and eventually have its contents archived on those disks, but the works themselves were to be preserved in what would become the largest library ever known to mankind. 

The tricky part was that it was roughly the size of a small moon and equipped with manual engines instead of the ion drives that were currently standard in such large ships. The job was going to take an enormous amount of raw fuel and the best pilot’s man could muster. Not to sound conceited, but I had the pilot role covered. Between Hiiro and I there was nothing we couldn’t fly, but it would take time because those old engines don’t move things around with the greatest of ease. That is, if they actually still worked and if we had enough fuel. That would be our first step. To get the fuel in the gas tank, which just happened to be separated by a few hundred thousand miles. It was really just dumb luck that had supplied the fuel we would need. A forgotten dump station in the R29 sector had simply been overlooked for decades, but I’d run across it during the war looking for a hiding place for Deathscythe. 

Wufei and Sally accompanied us because we would be passing close to the satellite belt where Hiiro and Wufei’s investigation was centered, so there would be an opportunity for some physical recon. It became apparent just how useful that Leo my partner had suggested we put back together would be when we started discussing the tasks at hand, so we packed it in a shuttle and set off for the R29 sector roughly a week before we were due at Quatre and Relena’s ball. With a little luck, the Sanctum would be safely circling X1999 in four days’ time and we’d all be free to pursue more entertaining activities. 

“It’s in there?” Wufei deadpanned gazing blankly at the ruined dump station. Well, I guess it did more resemble a huge kaleidoscope of floating space debris when I stopped to really look at it. 

“You actually flew your Gundam into that mess?” Sally inquired sounding a tad breath taken by the idea. 

“Yeah, why?” I replied. It wasn’t all that bad. At least I didn’t think so until Hiiro suddenly brought our shuttle to a standstill and just stood with the other’s staring at the swirling hunks of broken asteroid and sections of busted ships dancing their endless waltz among the stars. “What?” 

“You can’t be serious,” Sally snorted. 

“Oh, come on,” I grumbled taking the copilots seat. “It’s not so bad.” 

“It’s not impossible,” Wufei commented, making me grin for a moment until he added, “but that doesn’t make it intelligent.”

“Fine,” I sighed, seeing there was no way to win the argument. “I’ll take the pod in then. All it needs is a shove and it’ll be clear,” I reasoned heading for the cargo bay hatch. 

“I’m coming with you,” Hiiro stated, getting up to follow and I paused to look back at him. 

The look in his eyes told me without words that he meant to come whether I liked it or not, so I just nodded and kept moving. It really wasn’t that hard. We were in and out in less than four hours even with the shift in the lateral vortex. It’s a bit like swimming in a huge school of fish only the fish don’t exactly know where they’re going and tend to crash into one another now and then. All you have to do is stay three steps ahead of them and you’re golden. It felt strange to hear Sally’s war cry when we finally emerged. It really wasn’t that big of a deal. 

“Geez, calm down, woman,” I chuckled. “We’re not home yet,” I reminded her. 

“Home my ass!” she laughed. “That was some damn fine piloting, fly boy!” 

“Like slidin’ on ice,” I smiled, feeling unreasonably good about myself all of a sudden.

“Damn fine,” Hiiro interjected softly and I almost lost my grip on the yoke jerking to look at him, but he’d already looked away. 

“Very well executed,” Wufei sighed, sounding bored with the entire situation. “Now, if you’d hurry up and lock down the tow lines we can be on our way.”

“Asshole,” Sally sighed and I couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Better watch it, Fei,” I teased. “I think she’s got’cher number.”

“Yeah,” she grinned. “He’s a single entity of five, like the rest of you,” she laughed. 

The comment was said in jest, but it touched me somehow on a much deeper level than I would have expected. Sometimes, when things were quiet and all felt right with the world I found myself acutely attuned to the other pilots in some way. There is something about us that sets us apart. Maybe it was just that we all ended up in the cockpit of a Gundam at a ridiculously young age, or the fact that we all, in some way, fought for a common goal. Whatever it was, it felt like her words rang true. We were a single entity of five. I liked the idea. 

“Time to lock and load, ladies,” I quipped, readying our cargo for the tether lines. 

Wufei’s shot with the tether line was perfect and it was soon secured so we could be on our way. The Sanctum was a twelve hour trip even with the shuttle’s state of the art thrusters, which left plenty of time for more...devious activities. This seemed like the perfect opportunity to get Sally and Wufei into closer quarters. 

“Who’s lame brained idea was this again?” Sally groused, squeezing by me in the tight crevices between the equipment in the cargo bay. 

“Maxwell,” Wufei grumbled. 

Hiiro was near enough to smirk at me and almost made me laugh out loud, but I was a little busy trying to maneuver Sally into a position that would inadvertently put her in full body contact with Wufei. 

“You in position, yet?” I whispered peering over my shoulder so I could gauge the right moment to act. 

Sally was squeezing through the narrow passage between the crated sections of the mobile utility lift and some boxes of a homemade nitrate carbon compound I cooked up for blasting the Sanctum free of its ancient housing. There wasn’t a lot of room to move around in there, but I had insisted we could save a lot of time if we prepped the equipment ahead of time. 

“Almost,” Hiiro smiled quietly. 

I think he was getting a kick out of what I was about to do. I waited until Sally was slipping between Wufei and the aft section of the utility lift to pull the pin on the harness that was securing my end of the catwalk, but things didn’t end up quite the way I planned. The idea was to pin Wufei and Sally together in the tight area at the other end, which essentially succeeded. They were indeed trapped face to face with little more than an inch between their snarling faces. What I had not anticipated, however, was that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, and somehow Hiiro and I ended up in very much the same predicament. 

“MAXWELL!!” Wufei shouted angrily. 

“Shut up!” Sally retorted, turning her face from his so he wasn’t screaming up her nose. 

“What in the hell happened!?” Wufei growled. 

“Well, obviously something gave way!” she snapped. 

“Get us the hell out of here!” he demanded. 

“Will you shut the hell up!” she snarled. 

“Well,” I sighed, feeling unbelievably awkward having Hiiro pressed up against my chest with his face no more than an inch from mine making that smart ass smirk of his that much harder to bear. “That didn’t work out too well,” I observed dryly, grimacing at both the volume level and colorful content of our guests’ vocal battle. 

“Works for me,” Hiiro grinned. 

Um.……Ever seen one of those cartoon characters shake their head insanely trying to clear it? You know, they make that funny sound like uh uh uh uh uh. My brain was doing that about this point. 

“MAXWELL! YOU FIND SOME WAY TO GET US THE HELL OUT OF THIS, NOW!!” Wufei suddenly roared. 

“Any ideas?” I asked my amused partner, but he only shook his head and managed to look flagrantly pleased. “Maybe I can hit the gravity controls,” I sighed. It took a good deal of concentration to aim with our companions bellowing at each other, but I managed to miss the switch with the pin by a good inch anyway. “Shit.” 

“I thought this was what you wanted?” Hiiro commented under the din of their temper. 

“I didn’t want them trying to kill each other over it,” I mumbled. Gods, I had to get out. Having him that close, so close…I could feel his entire body lying along mine. His heat seeping through my clothes…the scent of his skin...damn…

“Are you alright?” he asked softly and it suddenly became imperative that we get out of the situation very quickly or my body was going to embarrass me beyond comprehension. 

“I don’t like feeling trapped,” I told him, mercilessly crushing the rising heat inside me and he suddenly looked very…sad. 

“Alright,” he nodded producing another pin from the catwalk to throw at the gravity switch. 

“What the…?” I exclaimed. “Wha’dju do!?” I growled under my breath, glancing back at where Sally and Wufei had sulled up and done their best to turn away from each other. 

“You asked me to help,” he replied, sounding not one iota remorseful. 

“Yeah, but I had it under control!” I groused. “If you hadn’t butted in...” he ignored my ranting and hit the grav control without hardly trying and we were all suddenly drifting free, but I didn’t get much of a chance to scold him after that since he decided to beat a hasty trail back into the cabin of the ship. What the hell? 

“That is the last time I listen to one of your hair brained ideas!” Sally snapped when she glided by. 

“It wasn’t his fault,” Wufei retorted. 

“And you were no damn help at all!” she growled. “One of these days you’re going to have to learn to control that temper, Chang…”

“Do not call me ‘Chang,’ onna!”

“Anger management! That’s what you need!”

They kept at it until I finally lost track as they got deeper into the ship and I just floated there trying to sort out everything that had happened. It was so odd, but if I didn’t know better I’d swear Hiiro was...flirting with me. I had to shake a few cobwebs loose on that one. Damn. Get a grip Maxwell. I was seriously starting to lose it. 

The remainder of the trip out to the Sanctum was...long. Wufei and Sally never did manage to get back on a friendly level and Hiiro reverted back to a distant posture that reminded me way too much of our war days. I didn’t know what to do since everything I was trying kept backfiring and causing more damage than good. It was starting to feel like the entire idea was a mistake until Quatre called and suddenly the whole universe was a brighter place. 

“Hello, Duo,” he beamed into the vid phone looking very much improved since our last conversation. Just seeing him like that with a true, honest smile that came right from his toes, made it impossible not to feel happy myself. Perhaps things had gone well with Relena after all? “How is your trip going?” he asked energetically plopping down in his desk chair and picking up his teacup. 

“Fine. Well, we’re ahead of schedule,” I amended recalling my shipmates’ less than amiable demeanor's. “How are things with you and Relena?” I asked hopefully. 

“Great! The ball is all set. We’ve received most of the R.S.V.P.’s back with wonderful results,” he smiled and damn, I could get used to this. 

“That’s great, Quat,” I grinned. “You seem in better spirits,” I was compelled to point out. “Did you guys have a good time at the symphony?” 

“Oh yes, it was wonderful,” he giggled. I mean, he giggled. You know? Like he he he? Weird. “Thank you for suggesting it. It actually encouraged me to set time aside to play some music,” he gushed and I was tempted to back away from the screen so I didn’t get anything on me. “Perhaps Trowa will have some time to play with me when he arrives,” he sighed. 

“Oh?” I grinned. Man, he’s just contagious when he gets like that. 

“Yes!” he nodded happily while his thick, blond bangs shook about in the light and I almost laughed at the silly image he presented. “He’ll be here day after tomorrow,” he confirmed. 

“That’s great. I was a little afraid he wouldn’t make it.”

“He called a couple of days ago,” Quatre explained, then paused and looked aside at someone coming in and I heard Relena’s voice ask if it was Hiiro on the vid. 

She stepped up beside him while he informed her it was me and I was graced with that tolerant little smile she always wears just before she asks, “Is Hiiro with you?”

“He’s around here somewhere,” I replied. “You’re lookin’ good,” I smiled and meant it. She was growing into quite a lovely young woman. 

“Thank you.” 

You know, as nice as I try to be to Her Highness, I always just seem to rub her fur the wrong way somehow. I don’t get it, but it didn’t escape me that if she was asking about Hiiro right there in front of Quatre, things couldn’t be as on track as I’d hoped. 

“Hang on,” I said switching to the infrared scanners to get a location on my wayward partner, but I needn’t have bothered as he walked into the cockpit while I was looking. “Hey, Hiiro, look who wants to say hi,” I grinned. 

“Hello, Relena,” he greeted, but the sound of it was cold. I always thought that tone he took with her was nervous tension or something, but now it felt more like not so subtle rejection. 

“Hiiro,” she breathed as her smile relaxed while stars began to sparkle in her deep blue eyes. No, things could not be going as well with Quatre as I thought. “How are you?”

“Well,” he replied taking a place at my back and I was acutely aware of his hand coming to rest on the back of my chair, mostly because it was on the opposite side as he was, which meant he’d essentially put his arm around me. “Yourself?” he returned politely.  
“It will be lovely to see you again,” she smiled. 

“We look forward to attending,” he replied. 

“We?” she asked looking stricken for a moment. 

“Duo and I.” 

“Oh, yes. Of course,” she chuckled gracefully, but I could see the relief in her eyes. 

“Will Wufei and Sally be tagging along as well?” Quatre asked. 

“I’m working on them,” I grinned. 

“That depends entirely on what we find in the satellite belt,” Wufei commented, following his partner into the control room. 

“Hello, Wufei,” Quatre beamed. 

“You’re looking well, Winner,” Wufei chuckled because he was no more immune to our blond friend’s good humor than the rest of us. 

“Thank you,” Quatre blushed softly. 

“When will you arrive?” Relena wanted to know. 

“In three days if all goes well,” I informed them. 

“Have you decided where you will be staying?” she asked. “I would be very happy if you would consider the Peacecraft Manor.” 

“I assumed Quatre was expecting us,” Hiiro replied and the disappointment in her eyes coupled with the icy finality in his tone quickened the tension in the group ten fold. It took Quatre several seconds before he recovered and nervously agreed. 

“Of course, my home is yours. You all know that,” he smiled offering Relena a sympathetic glance in the process. 

“Well,” she sighed brushing it all away. “We’ll have plenty of time to visit. I’ll be saving you a dance,” she told Hiiro and her tone was one of blatant invitation, but he only offered her a curt nod in return. 

“I meant to ask you before,” Sally interjected. “Would it be alright to bring along a friend?”

Excuse me?

“Of course” Quatre smiled. “The more the merrier. It is an effort to increase public awareness, after all.”

“Great,” she grinned looking much too happy with herself and my mind spun off into Never Never Land trying to figure out who this ‘friend’ could be. Was she involved with someone already? Or was it really just a friend type friend? There wasn’t much I could do about it, but it sure made me wish these people would stop messing with the mission parameters! The damn dump station debris field was less chaotic than this shit!

Sanctorium.

Impressive doesn’t even come close. The thing was frigging huge! I knew that it had taken over seventy years to fill it with everything from the ancient classics to the new wave fad magazines that were so popular back then, but I hadn’t truly been prepared for the sheer size of the thing. It was the size of a damn colony! I was thanking all the gods and their makers that all we had to do was get it started in the right direction and hold the course until we got within a hundred miles, because it would have taken every ounce of solid fuel ever created to move the thing otherwise. The fact that it was encrusted into the side of a mammoth asteroid, tethered there by a massive scaffold structure that must have housed the caretakers at one time, only added to the enormity of it all. All we wanted was the Sanctum itself, however, so the asteroid and its ancient latticework had to go. The first step in ‘operation get’er goin’? Blast that baby free! Yeah! 

“What is he grinning about?” Sally asked, while helping to guide the fully assembled utility lift off the shuttle. 

“I don’t know,” Wufei replied, “but I don’t like it,” he added glancing sideways at me. 

“What?” I grinned what I hoped was an innocent grin, but I think it probably came across more like...impish. I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned it, but I really like blowing stuff up. 

Hiiro just laughed and stepped between us with the foot of the large mobile suit style loader. It was nowhere near the size of a military suit standing only thirty feet tall with its cockpit open to the air much like the old tread style work machines of the past, but it was still impressive in its own right. 

“Do not encourage him, Yui!” Sally shouted. 

“Oh com’on, Sal, baby! Live a little!” I sang and tossed a blind cap out onto the empty deck and the resultant CRACK echoed nicely in the massive bay sending them both diving for cover and I just about laughed my skinny ass right off! 

“That is not funny, Maxwell!!” Wufei growled. 

“Yes it was,” Hiiro laughed from his perch and I think if he hadn’t been sitting in a very large and dangerous machine Wufei might have tackled him. 

“Let it go, Chang,” Sally chuckled brushing herself off. 

“I’m going to get the Leo,” Wufei grumbled, and turned back into the ship. 

“You better be gone when he comes back out,” she chortled at me. 

“With the wind,” I smiled and did my disappearing act. I had charges to set. 

It took me six frigging hours to prep all the internal stress points. I wondered how Wufei was doing on the outer while I was sweating my ass off squirming around in a crawl space not fit for a rat. At least the hull integrity hadn’t been compromised. We had an atmosphere so that made things a lot easier than they would have been had we been forced to wear pressure suits, but the place reeked of ages gone by. I was reminded of those old movies where the puff of misty air rises up from the inside of the ancient tomb giving the impression you’re breathing the very same air the ancients had, only in this case, we really were. I was working on the last couple of detonators when I got Hiiro’s confirmation call. 

“02 acknowledge.”

I almost laughed. “Right here, soldier boy,” I replied shaking my head. Once the soldier… “Wufei done?”

“Affir… …….Yes...Status?”

Well, he was trying anyway. “One more to go,” I informed him. “Is he still on the outside?”

“Yes. Two hundred meters port of the Hapsenburg Bridge.” 

I smiled where he couldn’t see it anyway. The man is meticulous. “Tell him to hold his position,” I told him, lying back so I could pull the diagrams of the Sanctum out of my many pocketed attire. I’d always loved wearing that shit during the war because I could live for weeks on just what I had stowed in my pants. 

“Is there a problem?” Sally asked. 

“I’m thinking we might want to lay that extra charge on the fifth tier support after all,” I informed them, looking over the plan again. 

“We went over this already,” she replied. 

“Yeah, but the more I think about it, the more I’m convinced there’s a natural iron ore vein in that hunk of granite,” I explained. Again. “The engineers might have tapped into it. If that’s the case…”

“We’ll never break free by only blowing the stress points,” Hiiro finished for me. 

“Yeah,” I grinned. 

“0 fi….Chang?” he called and I stuffed my diagrams back in my pocket with smug satisfaction. We had the load so there was no good reason to chintz the job. Better safe than sorry I always say. Besides, the fireworks would be fantastic! 

I would never have imagined that my fail safe plan would result in one of my best friends dangling on the end of a tether line in a dying Leo five hundred thousand miles from nowhere, but that’s just what happened. I think I mentioned my little pyrotechnic cache was homemade? Yeah well, that means they’re not only a little more... potent than the regulated stuff, but less stable as well. Wufei knows this, but it didn’t save him from getting that Leo’s left leg blown off. It was only by the grace of very quick reflexes and some of the most intense training known to man that he managed to launch a line and tie off before he was hurdled into deep space, never to be seen again. Now, the bright side was that he was alive and stationary, but the dark had him out there in a damaged suit that was quickly losing power and life support and we didn’t have another one to go after him with. 

“I’m going!”

“You cannot make that trek in a pressure suit, Duo!” Sally shouted. 

“Have you got a better idea!?” I snapped already shedding my clothes. 

“Just calm down and we’ll think of something!” she insisted, but I was working faster than she was talking and already had my suit halfway on before Hiiro could speak. 

“You won’t make it,” he said evenly and I froze because if he said it, it had to be true. I was completely lost. There was no way in hell I was about to let Wufei die out there. 

“Hiiro,” I cried softly and it was a pleading, desperate sound if I’d ever heard one, but I couldn’t help it. We had to save him. 

“We’ll need a quarter charge,” he smiled and I just about snatched him up and kissed him. 

“What?!” Sally gasped, but I was already cutting the load in one of the charges. “What’re you going to do?!” I could tell she was as scared for her partner as we were, but her sensibilities were warning her of further losses. She didn’t want us to get in trouble too, but that’s the difference between a normal soldier and...us. 

“You done?” Hiiro asked. 

“Locked and loaded,” I grinned tossing him one of the quarter charges I’d prepared. He was already in his suit by the time I was done and helped me lock down my helmet. 

“You’re both insane,” Sally groused, but she too, was already in motion having worked out what Hiiro had in mind. “I’m on channel fourteen,” she informed us, taking her station at the communications relay. Our suits didn’t have enough range to contact Wufei that far away, so we’d need her help and she fell into her role admirably. “Chang?” she called to him, letting him hear her voice, letting him know that help was on the way even as we disappeared into the bowels of the Sanctum. 

Pressure suits are not meant to be used in gravity, nor are they meant to be used in an atmosphere. By the time we managed to stumble and crawl our way onto the Hapsenberg Bridge we were exhausted and dripping with sweat from hefting the heavy suits around. My glass was all fogged up on the outside and I kept having to wipe it clean after we sealed the bridge. It made for a couple of damn scary moments when it came time to set the charges, but we managed it in record time and before long the side of the bridge that was barring us from our friend was nothing but a memory. We picked up Wufei’s com link the moment the thick metal walls were no longer interfering with the reception. 

“Duo!? Yui!?” he was calling and I wanted to knock him in the damn head for wasting his air on something so stupid! 

“Shut up, Fei!” I shouted. “You want to breathe or what?!” 

“Duo! You asshole! What in the hell do you...?”

“Shut up if you want to live,” Hiiro intoned dryly, but it sufficed to silence our irate rescuee. 

All we had to do was get him back to the hull intact and before he ran out of air. No problem. We could hear him talking softly to Sally, assuring her everything was alright while we reeled him in, but we couldn’t hear her that far out. We had finally gotten him down and mostly inside the adjoining maintenance hatch when it happened and I felt my heart stop beating. Hiiro had unhooked to move to the opposite side and guide his descent and somehow lost his grip and just...floated away. 

“HIIRO!” I shouted over the sudden roar of my own blood rushing in my ears. There was no thought involved when I pushed off and started after him. Only that if he was going out there somewhere, I was going with him, but it was not to be. I recall screaming in rage so harshly I tasted blood in my throat when the hand of the Leo closed around me halting my flight. Wufei was shouting something, but all my mind could comprehend was that little dot out there that was Hiiro getting further and further away. 

“HIIRO!! Let fucking go! HIIRO!”

“I don’t know!” I heard Wufei yelling frantically. “He’s hysterical!…No...there’s nothing you can do.”

“HIIRO! DON’T YOU DARE FUCKING LEAVE ME!” 

Oh dear gods no. 

I cannot recall ever being as stupefied as I was in the moment I saw him pull that quarter charge from his pouch. Half of me wanted to scream for him to stop while the other half was cheering his brave ingenuity. 

“Tell Sally to prep medical,” I told Wufei evenly. 

“By the gods,” I heard him whisper, then I forgot him and everything else other than Hiiro while I watched him set the charge and drift it out behind him. He was looking straight at me when it went off and I couldn’t see the pain in his eyes when the shock wave hit, but he was unconscious when he landed in my arms. I had hoped to never feel that kind of fear again, but he was alive. The next ten minutes were the longest of my young life while we waited for Sally to shut the outer doors and pressurize the maintenance bay. I had worked it all out in my head while I sat there counting the breaths he took, watching his pulse throb softly under the skin of his temple, just trying to reassure myself that he was really alive. We would take him back to medical as fast as we could and make damn sure he stayed that way. 

“It’s okay,” I whispered .“You did it. You’re back,” I told him even though he couldn’t hear. I should have known Sally would be on top of things, though. She was there with a full med kit in her hands before I could get our suits off. 

“Lay him down,” she ordered, taking full charge under the circumstances, and I let her. This was her specialty, not mine. “Tilt his head,” was the next order and I did as I was told. Wufei watched while she checked his eyes and listened to his heart. There was a quick examination of his ribs and back and what I presumed was a search for signs of internal injuries. “Nothing seems broken,” she informed us, but I was so keyed up all I could do was sit there and wait for the next command, but I hadn’t expected it to be directed at me. “Breathe, Maxwell,” she said evenly, so I did. I’m not sure when I stopped. “We need to get him back to medical,” she told us.

“Is it okay to move him?” I asked doubtfully. I wouldn’t chance hurting him any more. 

“Under the circumstances I don’t see where we have much choice,” she replied. “Wufei?” 

“NO!” I snapped diving between my fallen partner and hers. “Leave him here for a minute,” I insisted, then turned my full attention on Hiiro. “Hey, man,” I called patting his face softly. “Wake up, sleeping beauty,” I knew they were watching, but I couldn’t make myself care. “Come on, Hiiro…You’ve gotta wake up and tell us where it hurts, man,” I choked, then shut up because boys do not cry. 

“Al’ov’r,” he groaned and I felt the life rush back into my veins. 

“Hiiro! Hey! That’s it. Come all the way around. We need a status here, buddy.” Okay, so maybe men do. At least in that moment I couldn’t stop my eyes from welling up with joy when he grunted… 

“Clear.”

“Welcome back,” Sally grinned. 

“For a minute there we thought you were going to leave us for good,” Wufei smirked. 

I realized that Hiiro’s hand was in mine then, because he squeezed it tight when he looked me dead in the eye and swore, “Never.” 

“If we’re all done cultivating the stock of warm fuzzies,” Sally intoned amusedly, “I think its time we get this ball rolling.” Then she was packing up her kit and heading back the way she’d come. “I do not intend to be the only maiden to miss the ball,” she smirked, turning on her heel and gliding away. 

“K’so onna,” Wufei chuckled, rising to help me help Hiiro to his feet. 

He moved like he was in some serious pain, but he stood on his own and hobbled with minimal help, which I ended up supplying since he was draped over my shoulders. The gods of discord apparently got bored with messing with us after that because the rest of the launch went as smooth as silk. Wufei and I had the fuel tanks installed and ready for burn in less than four hours and Sally only had to threaten Hiiro twice to shut up and let us handle it before we blew the holy hell out of the support structure and cheered like a bunch of high schoolers when the bohemian Sanctum drifted free. A short countdown and a twenty minute burn later set us off at top speed en route to Colony X1999 and there was nothing more to do but wait for deceleration. In a day and a half we’d be on the outside of this little nightmare and on our way to the dance. In the meantime I had to admit I...really needed a nap. 

“Hey,” I smiled though I knew it was wan due to the eminent exhaustion of too many hours with no sleep and some deep emotional overload, but I was never going to get any rest without checking on Hiiro first. He was lying on the only bed in medical, the only bed on the shuttle for that matter, looking very relaxed. “How’re you feeling?” I inquired setting the container of juice I’d brought along for him on the utility table. 

“Sore,” he confessed, but he was smiling so I didn’t figure it was anything to be overly concerned with. 

“That was pretty….” I started to chuckle, but he cut me off with…

“Stupid,” and I laughed out right. 

“Brave,” I amended losing the touch of humor. His lips parted as if to say something more, but the words wouldn’t come and I ended up sitting on the edge of the bed with his hand in mine instead. I guess sometimes words just don’t cut it. 

“You should get some sleep,” he advised gently, but I only half heard it because my mind was playing along the edge of our hands where his thumb was softly brushing my skin. It became pretty clear he was right when I snapped to the fact that I was also staring numbly at the caress and hadn’t even realized it. How long had it been since we’d slept? Almost two days? Gods, but time does fly. 

“Man,” I yawned trying to shake off the suddenly overwhelming fatigue, but my eyes refused to remain open. 

“Sleep,” he coaxed and it didn’t take much. Just a nudge and softly spoken suggestion and I felt myself being folded into a warmth so comfortable I was gone to the Bahamas in 0.002 seconds flat. 

**

I don’t usually dream, but I did then. Crazy as it sounds my mind came up with this vision of Hiiro and me on some beach somewhere, just the two of us playing in the warm waves. He was so beautiful splashing around, showing off for me. For me. That’s what finally brought me back. I never was any good with pipe dreams. 

It was very surreal to wake and find myself still deep in the vision. The reality of having Hiiro literally wrapped all over me brought me fully awake with a start. Shit! What the hell?! When had I….? And how did he..? Aw damn! Get away! Far away! Before he wakes up, but how do you untangle yourself from a sleeping soldier without waking him?! Then the unthinkable happened and he stirred. It must have been the hammering of my heart that roused him because I hadn’t moved a muscle, yet he was tightening his hold, snuggling up to my back, his hands sliding further around my chest, fingers gripping, his chest and stomach so damn hot against my back and hips. Holy Mary Mother of God! I distinctly remember the room spinning out of control and wondering vaguely who set off the spare charges in the hold. 

“Hmm, Duo,” he groaned, but before my mind could fully implode another voice was calling my name and I shot out of that bed faster than I have ever moved in my life. I was standing there panting like a racehorse, probably white as a sheet, starring into the shocked face of my groggy eyed partner when Sally rounded the corner. 

“Duo?” she questioned in concern and I, feeling my face flame beyond words, ducked my head and just ran. “Duo!?” she called again, but Uh, uh! No way! I had to get away, far away, away from her, away from Hiiro, someplace where I could think, somewhere where I could get it back under control. 

Of course there wasn’t anywhere other than the interior of the Sanctum, so that’s where I ended up and I didn’t stop until I was buried deep inside the enormous vessel. I thought I could do it. I thought I could just be his friend and everything would be okay but…damn! No, I could do it, I had to, and it would be okay. I just had to make sure something like that never happened again. I’d get it back under control, put it back in its box and stay by his side as long as he would let me, but don’t get the wrong idea. It took several hours and four dime store novels for me to come to that conclusion. I was coming to a point where I almost felt as if I could join the others when I heard the telltale sound of someone moving around in the vast infrastructure. It turned out to be Wufei. 

“Maxwell?” he called, knowing by instinct alone that I was curled up in the alcove near the end of a long line of bookshelves because he sure couldn’t see me in the dim light. I had been reading by the light of one of my flashlights, but the batteries had run down long ago. Perhaps it was the open grating on the shelf nearest me that gave my position away. 

“Here,” I replied softly, but I had no ambition to move just yet so he was forced to come to me. 

“We will be approaching X1999 soon,” he was saying, but his words were as cautious as his steps. Man, I must have really scared them. 

“Yeah,” I groaned, forcing my numb legs to unfold and support me. “I know. I was just headed back.”

“Are you…all right?” he asked hesitantly. “Sally was worried,” he added quickly, but you know, the flush on his cheeks was telling me a lot more than he was and I couldn’t help grinning at him. 

“Just peachy,” I told him, flashing my brightest smile, but he wasn’t buying it and it died pretty quick. 

“This place is ridiculously massive,” he grumbled, letting it go for me and I was eternally grateful. 

“I could spend the rest of my life just trying to read my way out of this one hallway,” I chuckled. 

“We should join the others,” he commented. 

“We have some time,” I shrugged, mostly because I wasn’t ready to go back yet. Besides, it seemed a waste not to check out the Sanctum since we were there. “Let’s have a look around. This place is pretty amazing,” I observed, looking for a light control. 

It took us several minutes to find the panel of multiple switches, but once we did the place just seemed to come alive. Jumping Jehoshaphat! We’d hit the mother load! Somehow I’d managed to lead us into the central chamber of the vessel where there appeared to have been a massive atrium at some point. There were full grown trees in there! They were dead, of course, but their trunks remained, each laden with the decaying stalks of what had once been huge vines reaching upward into the domed ceiling and the remains of long untended flower gardens lay all along the borders. I almost fell over backwards getting a good look at the vast tile mosaic encrusted above us. There were creatures of every imaginable size, shape and color pieced together there. Images of people, young and old, some sitting under trees reading, while others battled huge whales or fearsome creatures. I was so caught up in the moment I hardly noticed Wufei wandering off until my eyes could no longer resist the temptation he proposed. I hadn’t seen the true beauty of the place. Not until I saw it through Wufei’s eyes. 

He wasn’t looking at the decaying garden or the resplendent art it contained. His eyes were trained unflinchingly on the endless shelves of books that lined the walls. They just seemed to go on forever. There were so many just in that one chamber alone, and it actually represented only a fraction of the wealth that was stored there. I watched him walking out into the center of the room with the light streaming down through the rain of dust displaced from the lights when we turned them on and understood something I hadn’t. It was there in his expression, in the renewed sparkle of his black diamond eyes. True happiness is obtaining that one thing your heart desires. However, that one thing doesn’t necessarily have to be a person. I knew in that moment, Wufei had found what he needed. He’d come home. 

He and Hiiro made a quick run into the satellite belt when we got close enough that only ended up confirming what Hiiro and I already knew. There was no refinery, just the hollowed out shell of one that had been destroyed during the war. 

It came as no surprise when Wufei announced that he would be turning in his badge. Une wouldn’t accept it, of course as she refused to deactivate any of us and the citizens of X1999 were only too happy to have his help and from the way he was behaving that was a very good thing because he wasn’t about to turn his new treasure over to anyone else. 

Sally took the blow like a real trooper. She was just so happy for him she couldn’t seem to work up to being upset over losing her partner. The find had given him a new lease on life and put the zeal back in his step, and for once he and Sally were getting along! 

We left X1999 right on schedule, taking a commercial flight instead of a private shuttle mostly so we didn’t have to worry with piloting and could rest. It was good to see our companions relaxing together. They were in the seats three rows up and to our right and I kept seeing Sally toss her head back and laugh while Wufei glared and knew he was showing her something about his new job again. Maybe someday, down the road a bit when he was more settled they would find they needed more from each other. There was no hurry to hook Wufei up anymore, that’s for sure. He was happier than I’d ever seen him. I wish I could’ve said the same for Hiiro. 

He was just plain cranky. 

“You want a pillow?” I hedged cautiously. He’d been a bit...prickly, since our little nap and it was weighing on my mind pretty heavily that I might have damaged something permanently between us. 

“Hn,” he grunted and I sighed. 

That was getting to be a habit I needed to break. I gave him the pillow and watched while he stuffed it under his head and curled up against the window. I knew he wasn’t sleeping, but he appeared to not want to talk to me at all. I considered trying to explain. It crossed my mind that perhaps if he understood things might be better, but the fear that he might turn away altogether held my tongue. There’s nothing quite like telling a guy you’d like to polish his knob to get you the cold shoulder. Of course, it was more than that, but that’s usually the part other guys have the biggest problem with. I had no idea what to do, so I ended up sighing again and keeping my big mouth shut. 

It was another half hour before the all clear chimed and we were allowed to leave our seats. I had opted for separate cabins for obvious reasons and found myself less than enthralled when Hiiro continued to pretend he was asleep while I prepared to retreat. The ache in my chest was becoming cumbersome at that point. I needed to know we were going to be all right, but I still had no idea how to put it behind us. There seemed to be only one word that kept surfacing in my mind and I uttered my soft apology to his mock sleeping person before I left for my cabin. 

It was nice to lie down even if the cot was hard and tiny. It had a pillow and a blanket, so it beat a lot of places I’d found myself sleeping in my life only sleep was an elusive commodity right about then and we were still a day and a half out. It was shaping up to be a very long trip. I thought about a lot of things lying there. Hiiro, Sally and her mystery `friend`, Wufei’s expression when he got a look at the heart’s blood of the Sanctum, Quatre’s bright smile and Trowa’s empty eyes…and Hiiro. It all kept coming back around to him in the end. Wufei had found his home. Quatre had somehow rekindled his bright light. Trowa was still searching, but I had no idea how to help Hiiro. He’d implied there was someone he cared for once. Perhaps it was time to do a little digging and find out who it was. At least then maybe I could be of some use to him. Maybe I could help this person see what a great and wonderful gift they had obtained. Maybe, in some way, I could make him happy. 

“Duo?”

Shit. What in the hell was wrong with my eyes?! “Yeah…just a sec,” I replied scrambling around for a tissue. Damn it. 

“I didn’t wake you did I?” he asked hesitantly. 

“No...I was just…” Okay, so I had no idea what to say after that, but it became unnecessary once I opened the door to finish the lie. “Hey, what’s up?” I smiled straightening the covers on the bed so he could sit if he wanted. 

“Duo,” he said again and the tone of it kind of scared me. He obviously wanted to say something he felt was fairly important and I’m afraid my fingers went numb and my knees suddenly didn’t have the strength to bear my weight. My ass was sitting on the edge of the cot before my eyes turned to regard him. 

“Is something wrong?” Damn it. Who put the gold fish in my drink?

It took him a moment to get started and when he did it was necessary for him to start with my name again. “Duo, you know that no matter what happens…I will always be your friend?” 

Shit. I couldn’t breathe. Had he figured it out? And if he had, was he really okay with it? Could he really forgive me for loving him like I do? There was one thing I knew beyond the shadows of my doubt. His words were sincere and it meant the world to me. Still, all I managed was a small nod that he returned, and then he was gone and I suddenly felt a hell of a lot better! As a matter of fact, I was having a hard time not singing at the top of my lungs. We were okay. That’s all that mattered. I couldn’t stop grinning when I piled back onto my hard, little cot, then I passed out and slept like a rock until the approach signals chimed. 

Hiiro seemed in much better spirits as well during docking. We ended up chatting non-stop about Wufei and the ball, his attempt to blow himself up, and a dozen other things that just came up. I was almost sad when the all clear sounded for disembarking, but Quatre’s shining smile soon changed that. 

“Duo! Duo! Over here!” he called waving like mad and grinning like a loon, and there was Trowa standing quietly behind him with his hands in his pockets looking as smug as one of his big cats just after a feed. 

“Hey, Quat!” I grinned snatching him up in a tight hug, then I just had to push him back to arms length and get a better look at him. “Man,” I couldn’t help but exclaim. “You look…positively radiant!” And he did. I’d never seen him shine so bright. 

“Trowa’s been helping with the final arrangements,” he beamed at his companion. 

I took one look at him and then had to take another. His eyes were anything but empty. They shone actually. I don’t think I’d ever seen that much warmth in their emerald depths before. He was almost vibrating under that cool exterior. What had happened? 

“Helping?” I hedged, wanting to get a better grip on things, but that stupid smirk of his never did much for me in the way of communication. 

Hiiro appeared to have gained a wealth of information from it though, and laughed out loud while he hurried us along, and I mean to tell you! I have never in my life heard Chang Wufei talk so much before. The guy was like the never ending sentence all of a sudden. He and Quatre got started on the Sanctum and the next thing we knew we were at the Winner Estate being welcomed by the house staff. You got that part right? The house had a frigging staff! 

Eloise, Carmen and Jana, the maids I would later come to know worked as the upstairs, downstairs and guesthouse caretakers. Daunk, the gardener as near as I could tell, and a massive man in his own right. Young Tom was a page for lack of a better word. Julian the cook, pardon me, chef, and Butch, the chauffeur. I called him Butch because I couldn’t possibly have pronounced his given name, but to be honest, I don’t think he was the slightest bit amused by my practicality. Go figure. They were all lined up when we arrived like they were getting ready to present us all with the Medal of Honor just for gracing their home with our presence. Most of them even bowed their heads as we passed. ‘Cept Daunk, or maybe it was just that his head was so much higher than mine it just didn’t show. 

Trowa never even batted an eye, and Quatre didn’t seem to notice them at all, but I was about to give myself whiplash returning the gesture when Jana tilted her head up and smiled that smile all guys like me fear. It was short lived though and I saw her expression shift from comely to shocked to scared shitless all in the half a second it took for her to drop her eyes again and I didn’t have to look to know what had frightened the poor girl. 

“Stop glaring,” I whispered low, hiding the chuckle that was bubbling up in my throat. “You’re scaring the help.” 

Hiiro didn’t reply, but I could feel his presence close behind me. We were given a short introduction and the spiel on how they were ‘so glad’ to offer their services, then were finally shown to our rooms so we could ‘freshen up’ after our trip and I had to wonder why Hiiro and I had been put in the same room. I suppose it was just habit dating back to our safe house days, but in that big house it seemed unnecessary. There were two beds though, so I wasn’t going to complain. 

Freshening up sounded like a pretty good idea when I stopped to think about it, but once I stepped into the spa our host considered a bathroom I knew I was never going to convince that little kid in my head that a quick splash in the sink would do. 

“Uh…Hiiro?”

“Hm?” he answered without bothering to look up from where he was rummaging around in his bag. 

“Mind if I take a shower first?”

“Go ahead.”

“K,” I grinned, turning back to gaze at the sparkling expanse of pure indulgence before me. “See you later, then,” I commented and was aware of his head snapping up and the oddly amused expression that graced his features before I was lost to the sinful pleasure of unadulterated opulence. 

This place had everything! Three sinks. Who in the hell needs three damn sinks? The shower was open to the room. No curtain or doors or even a ledge to keep the water in. The floor just dipped slightly tapering down to the drain and seven different showerheads! All of them with a multitude of options for everything from mist to pressure washer. I could’ve stripped paint with the big one. Off to the left was this little closet looking thing with a glass door that turned out to be a steam room and to the right was the coup de grâce. A full service Jacuzzi built for two. I was so giddy I didn’t know where to start! The sauna. Yeah. Get sweaty before you get clean right? 

I set the timer for fifteen minutes and cranked that baby up as hot as it would get. It was like heaven on Earth. Or maybe a little slice of the decadent pleasures of hell. I might have fallen asleep lying there in the thick fog that rolled off the lava rocks in the bin on the wall if it hadn’t been for the timer going off. I didn’t want to move, but staying in one of those things too long isn’t good for you, so I forced my limpid ass to get up and headed for the shower. 

There were frigging cabinets in the walls of the thing. Curiosity got the better of me once I satisfied myself with playing with the shower heads and I opened the first one to find an assortment of liquid soaps. The blue stuff was just vile. Smelled like something I once saw a cat throw up. The green reminded me of a street walker I knew as a child and the reddish-pink stuff had taurine in it. I’m sorry, but anything made from substances found in bull urine isn’t coming anywhere near my body. I finally settled on the amber blush. It was a soft, sweet scent that reminded me of the sun in Hiiro’s hair. Like that morning we woke together in the wilderness of China and it made me feel kind of warm all over when I washed with it. 

The second door hid a large variety of shampoo, which I instantly disregarded altogether. I make my own, rosemary and sage with nettles to stimulate the blood and a touch of lavender. I learned it from an old woman who caught me stealing her cat food one day. She’d taken me inside and fed me a sandwich and taught me how to take care of my hair properly. I recall going back there several times before she passed away. It was a nice place to visit and I picked up some very good tips that I still use to this day. 

The last cabinet held vial after vial of scented oils and lotions. Each little bottle was a work of art and I was almost pained just to pick them up and handle them, but hey, they were there. Red was definitely not the color of the day. I almost dropped the stuff when my finger started to burn. Weird shit. My eyes watered on the green and the purple just smelled rank, but the golden was pretty nice. It was light and clean and left my skin feeling like brushed silk. I swear, I could’ve lived in that shower for days, but there was a Jacuzzi calling my name. By the time I slipped into the hot, gurgling water my mind was convinced I’d died and gone up instead of down. I tossed my hair out behind me and let it drape along the rim and floor so it could dry a little, then laid back and just soaked. I’m not sure when I fell asleep, but I’ll never forget the dream. 

Hiiro was there. He was everywhere, all around me. I could hear him laughing and it was such a happy sound it made me giddy with delight. There he was, on the left, no, the right. He was playing with me, teasing me with glimpses of his sparkling eyes. That irresistibly roguish smile taunting me into chasing him willingly wherever he might go. He was calling to me, beckoning me onward and I could think of nowhere else in the entire universe I would rather be than right there on his heels, but when I reached for him the tone of it seemed to change. 

“Duuuuuooooo.”

“Mmmm wait...wait for me.”

“Duo!?”

“What!?!” I gasped realizing suddenly that I had Quatre by the neck and was rapidly pulling him in. I let go so fast I slopped half the water out onto the floor and splashed him till he was drenched and laughing like a loon. “Shit! S…sorry!” I rasped, trying to calm my raging heart. Shit! Way to ruin a wet dream there, Quat! 

“Are you alright?” he laughed, shaking the water off his hands. He looked totally ridiculous and I ended up laughing with him. 

“You scared the shit out of me,” I chuckled. 

“You kind of did a number on me too,” he giggled. 

“Why in the hell are you in my bathroom?” was my next logical question. 

“You’ve been in here for over three hours,” he informed me, sounding much too smug in my opinion. “Julian will be serving dinner shortly.” 

“Oh…sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he smiled, drying himself with one of the bed sheet sized towels from the rack. “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself, but our guests will be disappointed if you sleep through dinner.”

“Guests?” I asked catching the towel when he tossed it to me. 

“Relena and Rashid will be joining us,” he explained. 

“………Oh.” 

“Wake up and go get dressed,” he chuckled shaking his head. “I’ve left you a change of clothes on your bed,” he told me, then he was tip toeing his dripping self out of my bathroom and I was left to ponder all that by myself. Relena was there for dinner and…a change of clothes?

I have to hand it to the Arabian Tycoon. He knows what he’s doing when it comes to etiquette. I was expecting some stupid monkey suit that the prim and proper would consider acceptable dinner attire, but I should have known better. Quatre would never do that to me. He knows me well enough to understand I’d never be comfortable in something like that. It was a very pleasing experience indeed to slip into the red, sleeveless turtleneck and black dinner jacket he provided. The pants were slacks instead of jeans, but they were of the Dockers variety and fit like they were tailor made. He’d even found me a pair of the Parkside boots I love to wear and that shit doesn’t come cheap. I knew the items to be the gifts they were and if they’d have come from anyone other than Quatre I’d have given them back, but it wasn’t all that extravagant for someone of his station, so I decided to accept them with as much grace as they’d been given. Besides, I felt pretty good once I dropped my skinny ass in the ensemble. 

It appeared I’d made it just in time when I stepped out of my own little world and gazed down into the great room that was buzzing with life. Wufei was there with Sally at his side, each looking very elegant in the white Chinese dress jacket and medium blue, spring suit our host had no doubt bestowed upon them. Quatre and Trowa were talking with Rashid over by the front doors and I had to look through the crystals of the chandelier to get a look at the tall Maguanac’s face. He was laughing at something Quatre had said, making him seem just that much larger than life. Carmen and Jana were making their rounds with trays of appetizers and drinks looking wonderfully professional in their cute maid outfits, then I spotted Hiiro near the interior doors that led to the dining room and I could have kissed Quatre square on the mouth. 

He was dressed all in white, pure and untouched by any other color. Even his lapel flower was an ivory rose. He wore a small bow tie, but it didn’t look out of place on him at all and the jacket was cut small at the waist showing off that perfect physique of his. He looked like an angel standing there beside Relena. It took a good, long moment for my mind to register that fact, but there she was just as pretty as you please in a glistening, ankle length, silver gown complete with full length gloves. She was breathtakingly beautiful. I took a deep breath and stepped out to meet my fate head on. 

“Duo!” Quatre cried, breaking away from his little group the moment he saw me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Hiiro turn and for a split second my feet refused to move. He just stood there staring up at me for a time, then slowly he took a step my way and suddenly Quatre was there and I was in motion again. “Duo, you look wonderful!” he beamed sounding immensely pleased with himself. 

“Thanks,” I smiled. “Someone has great taste.” 

“And as charming as ever as well,” he laughed leading me down the stairs. 

“It’s the company I keep,” I grinned. 

“Duo,” Hiiro said softly and I could’ve kicked myself when I blushed at the mere sound of his voice. I damn sure couldn’t look at him then, but Sally came to my rescue. 

“Wow,” she exclaimed wandering up and giving me something to look at besides Hiiro. “Now that’s what I call a grand entrance,” she teased, but the comment shocked me a little and inspired me to glance back up the stairs and was suddenly reminded of old movies and petticoats. The image of me coming down those stairs did not help the blush. Nope, not one bit. 

“Well met, indeed,” Relena smiled…sort of. I didn’t get the impression she was really all that impressed if you know what I mean. 

“Sorry,” I felt compelled to offer. “I didn’t mean to take so long.”

“Your timing was perfect, as always,” Hiiro interjected. So much for winning the battle of the blush. 

“Monsieur Maxwell?” Jana sighed, dipping into a little curtsy while she offered me a drink to go with the bedroom eyes. 

“Thank you,” slipped from Hiiro’s throat in such a thin, icy thread I felt myself shiver and Jana dropped her gaze instantly, held her ground until we had all helped ourselves, then I didn’t see her again for the rest of the night. 

“Cheeky girl,” Relena snipped. 

“She’s studying to be a nurse,” Quatre informed us proudly, “but I’m afraid her youth sometimes challenges her sense of propriety,” he chuckled, sipping his wine. 

“She’ll make a much better nurse than servant, no doubt,” Her Highness joined in, and although I had to agree with her, it just felt wrong the way she said it. We were definitely on two different sides of the coin. 

“Hello, Duo,” Trowa smiled stepping out from behind Quatre for a moment and whoa. I mean just…whoa. Green is definitely that guy’s color. 

“Hey, Trowa,” I returned, reaching out to shake his hand, but he grasped my fingers instead, bowed down and kissed them and I thought I heard Hiiro snarl. I must have, because Trowa was chuckling when he drew away and I quickly sucked my eyes back into their sockets and withdrew my hand. The assholes were having way too much fun at my expense. “Where’s Wufei?” I asked by way of a change of subject. 

“Washroom,” Sally chortled. “He spilled his drink on himself when you arrived.” 

“Um…Oh.” Shit. What do you say to something like that?

“Duo…” Hiiro began, but then stopped. 

“Yes?” I turned, finally able to look at him. My god, he is just so damn perfect. All except for that inability to articulate. He was just standing there staring at me with his mouth hanging slightly open until I arched an inquisitive brow. 

“Uh…would you like to...”

“Your attention please, Ladies and Gentleman,” Butch sang out. I guess he doubled as butler too. He had managed to not only interrupt whatever Hiiro was trying to say, but gain the devoted attention of everyone present. “Dinner is served,” he announced formally bowing slightly while he turned aside and offered the assembly the way. 

“Wonderful,” Relena smiled reaching out to touch Hiiro’s arm and he hesitated for a moment still homed into my eyes like he was locked on target or something, then relented and escorted the lady to her seat. 

Wufei reappeared and joined us wearing a very attractive pink tinge in his cheeks and a slightly discolored spot on his otherwise pristine white jacket that Sally grinned widely at while he walked her to her seat. It did not escape my attention that Trowa hadn’t been more than a foot away from Quatre the entire evening, and when he walked our host to his seat, pulled it out and managed to run his hand along his lower back while seating him I knew Sally had been right. The crazy, insane ‘I TOLD YOU SO’ gleam in her eyes when I turned sharply to see her reaction told me she knew it, too. All Trowa did was smirk and take his seat, but it was obvious he’d done it on purpose. 

Well shit. No wonder they both looked like they’d found the Holy Grail! Holy shit! YES!! Christ, I wanted to jump up on the table and do the happy dance all of a sudden! It wasn’t what I expected or planned, but I’d be damned if it wasn’t the most logical and natural thing that could have happened when I stopped to think about it. They were perfect for each other and had obviously filled in the missing parts of their hearts. Gods, I just wanted to go over there and pinch them they were so damn cute together!

Somehow Hiiro ended up seated next to me instead of Relena, much to her dismay. She sat glaring sulkily down the table most of the night and I found myself making an effort to include her in the conversation since Hiiro wasn’t cutting her any slack. Not that I could blame him because her eyes still shone with that obsessive light whenever she looked at him. 

We spent a good deal of time catching up with Rashid as well. He and his band of Maguanac’s were still blindly devoted to their teenaged leader who had enlisted their aid in everything from construction to elite security services. They were to be the main security force at the ball, actually. I made a note to tag as many of the undercover fez heads as I could in the first half hour. It’d be fun to see their faces when they figured it out. 

We retired to the garden outside the main dining room after dinner and had coffee and these little cake things that were impossibly sweet. I managed to stomach one just to be polite, but I’d like to keep all my teeth for a while longer, thank you very much. There was one time there near the end that I noticed Quatre and Trowa were missing and couldn’t resist the temptation to scope them out. It was the most adorable thing I’d ever seen when I caught a glimpse of them in a dark, little alcove down the garden path a ways. Trowa had backed him into a compromising position and was doing his best to compromise him right there on the spot. I don’t think Quatre was cooperating to his satisfaction though, because they kept laughing and hem hawing back and forth. Once I confirmed their budding romance, I left them to their mating games and made my way back toward the party, but I hadn’t expected to run into Hiiro along the way. 

“Where’re you wandering off to?” I smiled. The night was so nice. There was this light breeze blowing the clouds around that was heavily scented with the aroma of jasmine and gardenias. 

“Looking for you,” he replied in that simmering tone that tends to make me forget we’re just partners. 

“What’s up?” I inquired, stopping on the graveled pathway since he wasn’t moving out of my way. “Are they about ready to call it a night?”

“I just…missed you,” he smiled and…ogoddamn. “Walk with me?”

“Uh…sure,” I squeaked, and the bastard laughed at me. 

I had pretty much come to the conclusion that he’d figured out how I felt about him. I wasn’t quite sure how he was going to handle it, but from what he said I didn’t think he was going to throw me out of his life. The situation was uncomfortable, but only due to my own apprehension. I knew things would settle between us given time. I just wasn’t sure why he was seeking me out. We walked together for a time just enjoying the night breeze while he led us deeper into the garden, and when he finally decided to speak it wasn’t anything I would have expected to hear from him. 

“You were amazing tonight,” he smiled that little half smile that haunts my dreams. Dreams like this. I was having a hard time convincing my mind I wasn’t asleep. 

“I didn’t do anything,” I snorted, embarrassed by the praise. 

“No,” he chuckled. “I’m sure you didn’t intend to,” he said turning his eyes upward while he strolled causally along and added, “You never do.” 

“Relena’s looking good,” I commented, but it only seemed to steal away some of his light. He nodded anyway, then paused and stood stock still staring into the sky for a long moment. 

“Duo.”

“Yes.” Shit! Where did that come from?!? That was not a simple reply to his calling my name. That was blatant surrender. Even I heard it in my voice and he damn sure heard it too because he jerked around to face me with wide eyes and I just wanted to find a rock to crawl under. However, once again the fates graced me with my out.

“Hiiro! There you are,” Relena smiled gliding gracefully into our little clearing and for once that crestfallen expression on Hiiro’s face wasn’t the slightest bit amusing. 

“What do you want?” he asked her in a tone that was clipped and tight and I can’t say I much appreciated her interruption either, but there was no reason to be rude. 

“I…thought perhaps…we could take a walk together,” she told him uncertainly while her eyes took in the fact that she had disturbed us. “I’m sorry,” she offered gliding to a halt. “Am I interrupting?”

“No,” I cut in before he could spit out whatever that bitter thing on his tongue was. “We were just finishing up,” I smiled. “You two go ahead,” I added giving Hiiro my best ‘mind your manners’ glare before I tacked on, “Walk with the Lady, Hiiro. You have some things to catch up on don’t you?”

“Yes,” he suddenly agreed and she brightened instantly. “If you’ll excuse us,” he said, then turned on his heel, offered her his arm and led her away into the shadows. 

Shit. I mean...Good……Damn it! 

Okay. My room seemed like a really good idea right about then and that’s where I ended up. He needed to talk to her. Face her one on one. If he really didn’t love her she needed to know and if by chance her love was strong enough to change his mind, then so much the better. All I ever wanted was for him to be happy. Just like the rest of them. Just like…no. I wasn’t going to start that ‘me’ shit. Hiiro was what was important. I refuse to forget that. 

It was late before he returned to our shared room and I feigned sleep to avoid hearing about what had happened. I figured he’d told her the same thing he’d told me, but on the off chance it didn’t turn out that way, I just wasn’t ready to face it. One more night, just one more night of half believing and then I’d be strong enough. Just not then, not in the dark with my heart peeled bare in my chest. I couldn’t. It was a great relief when he finally stopped staring at my back and went to bed. I never slept that night. 

**

I rose at the first sign of daybreak and hurriedly dressed. Apparently, the long night had done nothing by way of preparing me for what lay ahead, but my efforts were wasted when he called to me before I could esca…leave. 

“Good morning.” 

Well, he sounded remarkably relaxed. Almost as if he’d found some way to relieve a lot of tension, but I didn’t want to think about that. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” I whispered. 

“You didn’t,” he smiled, rolling over to look at me. Geez! Why wasn’t he wearing a damn shirt!? Things like that didn’t bother me a few weeks before. I’d totally lost control of it, but he managed to completely change my entire thought pattern with his next three words. “I told her.”

“………………..” I blinked. “W…what?” I stammered, suddenly finding my boot very interesting. 

“I told her I don’t love her,” he reiterated, but I only half heard him. My brain was doing a fair job of running around in my head without me. Damn it, Maxwell, calm down! It’s not like he was asking me out on a date! 

“She take it okay?” I managed. Time to redo my hair. Yeah. That needed done. 

He took the time to sit up, letting what was left of the sheet covering him drop to pool in his lap and it took me three seconds to stop staring at him in the mirror and start tightening my braid again. Out of control. I was totally out of control. I think he heard it when I swallowed. 

“She refused to believe me,” he informed me, and I dove on the line.

“Big surprise,” I snorted. 

He laughed. “Until I told her I was in love with someone else,” he went on in that even tone. You know? The oddly expectant one that usually means I’m supposed to say something back? 

“Um…maybe you should tell Quatre about it,” I suggested, but it obviously wasn’t what he wanted to hear because he sighed heavily and I felt so damn foolish all of a sudden I was starting to get a little pissed off. “Well, I’m sure she’s upset,” I snipped. “Someone’s gonna need to offer a shoulder.” 

“Why are you getting testy?” he huffed softly. 

“Because you’re acting like it’s no big deal,” I shot back. To hell with it, my hair was perfect anyway. “She’s loved you for a long time, you know?” I rounded on him. “You can’t expect her to drop it just like that.”

“What she feels for me is not love,” he insisted. 

“Whatever, man,” I grumbled, making a halfhearted attempt at making my bed. 

“What would you have me do then?” he asked defensively. “I told her as honestly as I know how.” 

“Oh gods,” I sighed, slumping onto the bed. That meant he’d said something like ‘Relena, I don’t love you. I’m in love with someone else. Sorry about that. Bye.’ 

“What?” he snapped. 

“You can’t just dump her and bail.”

“She was never mine to dump,” he retorted. 

“You have a responsibility…”

“I don’t owe her anything,” he cut me off. “She needs to get over it,” and the ice in his tone just seriously pissed_me_off. 

“What in the hell makes you think you’re so fucking easy to get over!?” I shouted and I don’t really recall rising to my feet, but I was standing over him and it was taking all my will power not to just reach out and shake him. He sat there drop jawed staring blankly at me and I suddenly realized what I’d just done and backed down. “Never mind,” I grumbled turning away. “It’s none of my business anyway.” And it wasn’t. It was between Hiiro and Relena. I was stepping over the line. 

“Duo, wait,” he called after me, making my attempted escape impossible because I found my feet rooted to the floor. Why couldn’t I defy him? I should have just kept on walking, but he sounded like he…needed me. 

“I’m sorry,” I offered unable to turn around. “I shouldn’t have butted in.” 

“I don’t care about that,” he was saying, and I was aware of him moving closer to me, and the urge to bolt like a stung horse took hold of me, but I managed to stay in the room. I couldn’t hold still though, and ended up pacing over to the window so I could at least see outside. “I want to know what you think,” he told me. “I just don’t understand why you’re getting so upset with me over this.” 

“I dunno,” I sighed, moving again to the dresser this time when he came towards me. “Don’t worry about it,” I told him turning my brush round and round. “My mental malfunctions shouldn’t be on your list of concerns,” I mumbled. 

“Duo.” I forced my focus back onto him again while he once again moved forward. “Everything you think and feel is important to me,” he said and I suddenly just could not take anymore. 

“Son of a bitch, Hiiro!” I burst, side stepping him. “What in the hell are you saying?!” This was making me insane! “That’s the kind of thing a guy says to his lover!” I was totally exasperated, moving from one spot to another in an attempt to avoid him, but he wasn’t having any of it and finally just snatched me by the arm and crushed me to his chest. 

“Damn it, Duo!” he exclaimed holding me tight enough to bruise. “If you’d just stop dancing so damn fast!” he exclaimed, but he wasn’t really talking to me, and I can’t say I was comprehending his line of thought, but then my mind was a little dazed and confused at that point. I wanted him to hold me. Wanted it so much I couldn’t pull away, and found myself clinging to him for all I was worth. 

“Hiiro…please,” I croaked, though I wasn’t exactly sure what it was I was begging him for. All I knew was that I needed this to stop. I needed us to go back to the days when we could lay under the stars and argue over their names. I needed my best friend back. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered softly and the sound of it was almost painful to my ears. “I’m so sorry,” he breathed again squeezing me tighter yet. “I’ve been pushing too hard. It’ll be okay,” he told me and I nodded because even though I didn’t understand them I trusted that his words were the truth, as I always have. “You okay?” he asked in a much lighter tone that allowed me to resurface from the depths of the shadowy pool of my own depression. 

“Yeah,” I replied shakily, offering him a wan, little smile I hoped was reassuring in some way while I pulled out of his arms. “What?” 

“Nothing,” he continued to smile, then on a sudden impulse asked, “Have you made any plans for today?”

“Not really,” I replied. 

“Want to help me with a little project?” he grinned, and just like that I felt a hundred percent better. 

“Why do I get the feeling I’m going to regret this?” I resigned and his grin grew to mammoth proportions. 

Well…shit. 

I have to say I never expected Hiiro to get that worked up over helping me with my little matchmaking mission, but when it came to seeing to Relena’s future he suddenly seemed to have found his stride. The project he’d mentioned had us searching through old school records most of the morning until we finally came across a face and matched it with a name, and then we were off to find the individual who was about to find an entirely new road opening up before him. 

There was this guy you see, and from Hiiro’s description he’d had it pretty bad for our blue eyed monarch back during the first days of the war. He actually made the mistake of challenging Hiiro during a fencing match once. William Bartholomew Jones, the son of Senator Randolph C. Jones and currently a student of political science at St. Gabriel’s University on the beautiful shores of the Sanc Kingdom. He’d apparently kept himself as close to the princess as possible over the years, and was working his way up to becoming a realistic colleague and peer in her world. The possibility that his affections for her had driven his path was good enough that we decided to pursue the prospect. We were pleasantly surprised to find he was right there on L4 when we finally tracked him down. Like so many of her acquaintances, he too had rushed to her side when the opportunity to support her ideas presented itself. It was perfect. We didn’t even have to invite him. Good old Billy was about to get the chance of a lifetime. 

“That him?” I asked zeroing in on our target where he was shopping for a new suit for the ball, no doubt. There was a young lady with him, but she was so obviously related, having the same bright blonde hair and dark eyes we knew there was no danger of competition. Hiiro nodded and pulled a slick, blue shirt from the rack beside us. 

“You think this would look good on me?” he asked thoughtfully. 

I glanced at it, then back at our quarry and mumbled, “Everything looks good on you,” before nabbing him and stalking off in pursuit of our escaping prey. I heard him laugh, but I steadfastly ignored it. Man, I was slipping more and more lately. 

We were forced to endure three more of the stuffy, upscale shops before Billy and his companion decided to take a break at a café along Chelsea Street. The neighborhood was the equivalent to Earth’s Beverly Hills, but we had anticipated that. I was wearing the black jacket Quatre had given me and Hiiro had bought that slick, blue shirt just to spite me. There was nothing about us that looked out of place when we took the table beside them. 

“You don’t think Relena,” and yes, I said her name quiet loudly “…would do anything rash, do you?” That’s all it took. We had Billy’s undivided attention the moment he heard her name. 

“No,” Hiiro replied casually. “She’s an intelligent woman,” he said accepting the menu from our waitress. 

“I just hate to see her cry, you know?” 

“Excuse me,” Billy interjected, turning in his chair. 

“Yes?” I smiled into his concerned expression. 

“You’re Hiiro Yui aren’t you?” he inquired of my partner, but from the lack of warmth in the question he already knew it to be true. Hiiro just nodded. “I heard what you said,” he told him sternly. “What have you done to Miss Relena now?” he asked letting his bad temper show. 

“Exactly why would it be any of your concern?” I asked, doing my best to sound petulant. 

“Because I just happen to be a...close, personal friend of hers,” he snipped. 

“I remember you,” Hiiro intoned evenly and it was very amusing to watch the guy’s face drain to white. 

“W...w...why would Miss Relena be crying?” he managed to stammer and I was impressed with his bravery. Most guys would probably have backed down when faced with that sort of confidence, but then Hiiro wasn’t exactly laying it on too thick. 

“I rejected her,” Hiiro stated bluntly. Geez, no tact this one, but the confession served its purpose. Billy was beside himself. 

“I cannot understand you!” he blurted and his companion, whom I had decided must be his sister, reached out and laid a hand on his arm supportively. “She’s been trying to get your attention all this time! Why can’t you see what a wonderful, beautiful person she is?” he demanded. “Why don’t you just give her a chance?”

“Because I’m gay,” Hiiro deadpanned, and I spit my water halfway across the damn patio. 

“Wh....what?” Billy stuttered while I tried to piece what was left of my mind back together. 

“I’m homosexual,” my partner repeated with such conviction I almost believed him myself. “I could never love her the way she wants me to,” he explained and Billy looked very much like he might just grow wings and fly away. 

“Really?” he asked uncertainly and Hiiro nodded. This had not been in the script, but it was working like a charm, I had to admit. 

“So, if you’re really her friend,” I smiled, “you might want to be there for her. She seemed pretty upset. I imagine she’d appreciate a hand to hold.” I shut up when Hiiro kicked me under the table. So, I wanted to make sure he got the idea. Bite me. 

“Yes,” Billy smiled thoughtfully. “I suppose it would be the only proper thing to do,” he said absently as he stood from the table and his sister flashed us a brilliant smile, then followed him already twittering encouragingly in his ear. 

“Sir! Excuse me! Sir!” the waitress called going after them, but I caught her attention and offered to pay their bill. All they had time to order was drinks anyway. 

“That was brilliant,” I chuckled once she went away with our orders and he shrugged smugly and sipped his tea. I thought of Quatre and Trowa and wondered if that’s where he came up with the idea. “What made you say that anyway?” 

“Because it’s true.” 

White noise. That’s what my world had suddenly become. I was sitting there still looking at him, but I was no longer connected to the moment. My mind was racing backward through time, the conversation that morning, the evening last night. His expression when I stepped onto that stairway, his arms tight around me, his voice groaning my name sleepily aboard the shuttle, the stars, a broken down Leo, a conversation about my eyes, his hand in mine and his warm, gentle smile. 

“Duo?” he carefully intoned in this frightened, little voice that made him sound about five years old. 

“Are…you serious?” I heard myself ask, and I think it was the fact that he couldn’t answer that made me believe and suddenly I was just…numb. 

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. It was all there, right there in his eyes. Everything I’d been feeling, all my fears and insecurities. It was like looking into a mirror. “I should have told you…so long ago,” he sighed, dropping his gaze. “I just…”

“Didn’t want to lose,” I finished the thought, knowing the feeling all too well and he looked up at me again. I saw the hope in his eyes and knew what he needed to hear. “It’s okay,” I told him. “Nothing’s changed. You’re still my best friend right?” His expression then was this bastard mix of relief, frustration and pure determination. 

“What if I wanted more?” he asked hesitantly. 

“From me?!” I squeaked, and I’m afraid he totally misunderstood my reaction because he suddenly looked like someone had kicked him in the nuts. 

“Sorry,” he breathed distantly. 

“Wait a minute,” I said doing my best to clear my muddled mind and put my wildly careening thoughts back in order. “Are you saying this other person you told Relena you’re in love with…is me?” I think my heart totally stopped beating while I waited for him to answer and when he did, he did it in true Hiiro style sitting up straight and looking me dead in the eye. 

“Yes.”

“Holy shit,” was all I could come up with. “Since when?” I blurted, then overstepped that stupidity with, “Why?” then I just shut up because I was quickly devolving into something less than intelligent. 

“I came back because I needed to know if you could ever return my feelings,” he told me. “And lately you just seemed so…receptive.”

“I am,” I whispered unable to gain his eyes. I’d kept that secret buried so deep inside for so long it actually hurt to speak it out loud. 

“What?” he sat forward encouraged by the confession. 

“It’s all I’ve ever wanted,” I forced from my lips and felt a great weight lift away when his eyes lit up and he smiled. 

“Duo,” he began reaching forward to take my hand and I backed away glancing around at the other patrons. Geez! Ever heard of a little thing called discretion?! But it was like he was suddenly zeroed in and nothing else existed. “Go to the ball with me,” he coaxed, coercing me with that brilliant sparkle suddenly dancing in his eyes. Part of me was just going ‘no way’, but most of me was diving in headfirst. 

“We’re already going,” I chuckled. 

“As my date,” he insisted, and I blushed appropriately. “Please?” he smiled and I knew it was hopeless. 

“I’m not wearing a dress,” I sniggered. 

“You don’t have to wear anything at all!” he gushed. 

“Hiiro!”

“I mean…you know what I mean,” he laughed at himself with me and it was suddenly as if someone had opened the flood gates on the sea of flirtation. 

When he smirked it was the same smirk I knew so well, but suddenly I could see the deeper meaning behind it. Knowing that my feelings were returned was like being given a license to live and I took full advantage of the opportunity. I was suddenly aware of just how often I found reasons to touch him because he was returning the affectionate caresses with gusto. It was seriously stroking the buried desire I had been squashing for so long, and by the time we got back to the Winner Estate I would have stripped naked and let him nail me to the front door if he wanted. He didn’t, of course, but I had the definite feeling he wanted to. There was a plan simmering in the depths of those deep blue eyes, I could smell it and I wouldn’t have spoiled his fun for anything. 

It was a decidedly weird feeling when he chased me inside and up the stairs like a couple of elementary school kids laughing and giggling at nothing more than the fact that we were together. We stopped when we spotted Trowa pushing Quatre into a room down the hall with his mouth. The noise we were making caused him to pause and take a moment to...well…leer at us from beneath that long shock of auburn hair. Quatre just looked completely bewildered while his lover and Hiiro smirked at each other, then the door suddenly opened and Trowa was kissing him again and they were gone. 

“GIVE’IM HELL, QUAT!”

“Duo!” Hiiro scolded playfully, pushing me into our room while I laughed like a loon, then suddenly I was in his arms and his mouth was on mine and I thought I was going to burst into flames. 

Gods in heaven but he is one strong son of a bitch. I was reminded of this fact when he picked me clean up off the ground and held me with one arm while the other was trying to shove me face first down his throat. I was shaking like a leaf and completely helpless in his arms and by the time my feet found the floor again my legs were too weak to support me. The fierce kiss slowly melted into something wholly sublime and the rapid fire, white flares that were blinding me faded into a softer strobe of delicate colors behind my eyes. 

A deep, throaty rumble vibrated in his chest and rose up to invade my mouth while he laid me back onto one of the beds melting my mind and body in pure surrender. I whimpered when he pulled away and I felt the shudder in his breath, the tremble in his body as he forced himself to pause. His eyes were clenched tightly closed in his effort to control his desires, so why was he stopping?

“Hiiro?” I breathed uncertainly. 

“You’re very…receptive,” he ground out, and I felt a thrill run through me when I understood he’d just realized something rather important that wouldn’t have actually been obvious until that moment. 

“Yes,” I chuckled, wrapping my legs around his hips and raising my own in invitation. “I am,” I grinned pulling him into me again. 

“Duo,” he gasped, then he was kissing me again and I was crushed under his hips and on the verge of release. It lasted only a fraction of the eternity I wished it would, then he was suddenly pushing away from me, mumbling a steady commentary to himself about ‘no...not like this’ and how I deserved better and I wanted to jerk his hair out! 

“Hiiro?” I whined, clawing at him, but he forced his hands to my wrists and steadied his resolve. 

“I almost ruined it didn’t I?” he kind of laughed, but it was a very strange sound that sort of bordered on hysterical. 

“Ruined what?” I hedged, grinning up at him, but he only pecked me on the lips and disappeared. 

“Get dressed,” he smiled, heading for the door. 

“Hey! Where’re you going?” I called after him. 

“I have a date,” he tossed over his shoulder, then he was gone and I was left with this ominous feeling and a raging hard on.

**

The hard on I could’ve dealt with, but I was much too excited about the prospect of Hiiro doing it for me. I felt the doubt nipping at the edges of my mind, but the heated memory of his kiss kept frying it before it could do much harm. I suppose I should have slowed down, taken a step back and had a good look at the reality of it all, but honestly, this was Hiiro. My best friend and the guy I’d trusted my life to a hundred times over. I’d never doubted him before and I wasn’t about to start. If he said he was in love with me I had no reason to question it. He wouldn’t hurt me like that anymore than he would’ve shot me in that cell on the moon base. So much about our past together was starting to make sense all of a sudden and I found my heart fit to burst when the pieces fell into place. 

Hm. A date, huh? I’d never been on a date before. What to wear? I couldn’t wear the same thing I’d worn at the dinner party. That just seemed crass or something. Hiiro obviously had something special in mind, so the usual tux seemed lame. Well, there was only one thing to do. 

*Knock knock* 

“Um…Sally?”

“Come on in, Duo,” she replied and I pushed the slightly ajar door to her room on open. 

“Wow,” was my first reaction. She was wearing this sleek, black dress that hugged her in places I’d never even imagined she had. It made her look two feet taller and the jacket gave it this sort of severe ‘look but don’t touch’ attitude. I was reminded of military dress uniforms. She was stunning. 

“Thanks,” she chuckled. “Buy why aren’t I saying the same about you?” she asked, looking me over while she put on her other earring. 

“Um…Actually, I was kind of hoping you could help me with that,” I informed her, scratching at a sudden itch on the back of my neck. 

She eyed me suspiciously, then crossed her arms over her chest and looked me sternly up and down. “You’re not wearing the outfit Quatre gave you?” 

“I was thinking I’d like something a little more…original,” I shrugged. 

“Duo?” she hedged stubbornly. 

“I kind of have…a date,” I confessed, feeling the mantle warm my cheeks. 

Her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed, and she was all of a sudden scaring me a little, but then she relaxed and smiled. “A date,” she repeated and I nodded dumbly and discovered there were three tables and five pictures on the wall in her room. 

“This...date...someone special?” she grinned, and I nodded again. Oh, look, a vanity, too. “Like…I want to look strong and reliable special?” she inquired stepping closer to me in an attempt to catch my wandering gaze. “Or amazingly irresistible?” 

“Ahem...uh...amazing works,” I shrugged. 

“What’s his favorite color?” she asked. 

“Blue...I think,” I mumbled, realizing only after the wide grin split her face that I’d just told her everything she wanted to know. 

It was worth it, though. By the time she was done with me I felt like Cinderella had been seriously gypped on the fairy godmother deal. I got more advice and encouragement in that next hour than any magic wand could have possibly conjured up. Did you know the woman has a hair fetish? I didn’t until she spent over forty minutes plaiting my braid into this intricate weave. It resembled my usual style enough I didn’t feel uncomfortable, but the complexity of it kept catching my eye and I wondered where she’d learned these strange talents. Her own locks were dangling in their usual spiral, which was another oddity I didn’t ask how she accomplished. 

My attire was bought fresh off the shelf of a shop about a five minute drive into town. She dragged me there and shoved me in the dressing room with this dark, midnight blue suit and violet shirt that she said matched my eyes. I rolled them at her just to let her know I wasn’t really into the whole color scheme thing, but she only laughed and shut the door. It was tailored, double breasted and made me feel indecent somehow. It also got me a wolf whistle from the sales staff when I emerged. 

“I dunno, Sally,” I grumbled looking myself over. 

“It’s perfect,” she insisted, and I had to admit the only thing that bothered me was the fact that it screamed sex appeal. “Wait right there,” she grinned disappearing into the back with the giggling attendant. 

While they were gone I helped myself to some of the complimentary wine that was in a bucket on a table. A minute or two passed and I was starting to feel a little more comfortable in my new clothes when a couple entered the shop. I smiled politely, and they returned the gesture going to the counter to ring the bell. There was a picture on the wall of a cliff overlooking some sparkling, blue expanse of ocean somewhere that caught my eye for a moment, but I got that itch on the back of my neck that tells me someone is watching me. A quick glance in the mirror on the dressing room door confirmed it was the woman that had come in. Her companion, I would say her husband from the way they acted, was talking with one of the clerks while his wife was copping a feel of my ass with her eyes. It made me feel kind of…attractive and I stepped up to look my new suit over again. It was then that I noticed the woman turn away and I’ll be damned if her old man didn’t rake me up and down with his eyes as well. Hn. Yeah, this might do the trick after all. At least it was appealing to both sexes. 

Sally came back out wearing a satisfied little smile, gathered me up without having me change and took me back to the house. We argued over her paying the bill all the way, but she didn’t give in until I threatened to take the damn thing back. I am a long time removed from the days of poverty, so there was no way in hell she was paying for my clothes. Not even when they had a triple digit price tag. We were just on the tail end of that confrontation when we entered the front door. 

“Just give me the damn receipt,” I demanded again. 

“I used credits,” she insisted. 

“You still had to get a receipt,” I argued, standing firm. She was lying about the price. Nothing in that shop was under three hundred. Not even the crop tops. 

“I still don’t see why you won’t let me…” she began, but never got to finish when Jana walked right into the wall not ten feet away. “Are you alright?” Sally asked rushing to steady the embarrassed girl. 

“O...Oui, madame,” Jana stammered, holding the red spot on her forehead and looking anywhere but at me. “I just…” 

“Yeah,” Sally chuckled. “I know what you mean,” she said, glancing at me and I suddenly realized what had happened and wished I were buried deep in my junkyard back home. My heart rate doubled when I heard Hiiro and Wufei’s voices in the dining room. 

“...don’t see why it’s such a big deal,” Wufei was saying. 

“I want this to be done right,” Hiiro replied and then suddenly they walked out of the dining room door and I found it a little hard to breathe. 

I had just enough time to register how sexy Hiiro looks in a short tailed tux before he dropped the box in his hand on the floor. We just stood there staring at each other for a long moment before Wufei’s low whistle broke the spell. 

“Duo,” Hiiro breathed, then glanced at Sally’s ecstatic expression. She was so onto us it wasn’t even funny. 

“Sally?” I squeaked softly. 

“It’s okay,” she whispered. 

“Duo!” I heard Quatre call from up the stairs and turned to find him and Trowa descending. “You look wonderful!” he beamed. “Look at you all!” He and his tall lover were no exception to the rule either. Apparently this group cleaned up fairly well. 

“Hi, everyone,” I heard a familiar voice chip in and whirled my startled ass around to find my roommate standing there in this light blue gown and little tiara that made her look like someone’s porcelain doll. 

“Hilde!?” I gasped. “What’re you doing here?”

“Sally invited me,” she grinned and I felt like a real cad for having decided not to invite her after Quatre and Trowa got together. “Hello, Trowa,” Hilde sighed, stealing away some of my happiness at seeing her. She was in for a rude awakening on this one. I’d have to speak to her when I got the chance. 

“If we’re ready then?” Quatre smiled while Butch walked through, and I’ll be damned if he didn’t run headlong into the door because he was checking me out. I made a steadfast resolution while everyone was pretending it hadn’t happened and making their way out the door that I was gonna burn that suit once the dance was over. 

We all went in separate cars with Trowa and Quatre in the lead limo, Wufei, Hilde and Sally in the second and Hiiro and I in the third. Butch got to drive his master, which was a relief after what happened, because I was nervous enough as it was. Hiiro kept looking at me and it was making me feel very self conscious, so I finally ended up speaking just to break the silence. 

“What’s in the box?” I asked, glancing at the thing sitting in his lap. 

“It’s…for you,” he replied, but didn’t offer it. 

“What is it?” I inquired. 

He hesitated for a moment, then finally held it out. “Just a gift” he shrugged. “I wasn’t sure how you would feel about it, so...”

My curiosity was piqued, so I took it and found it contained a single red rose. He’d no doubt put it in the box so I wouldn’t be embarrassed. I thought it was very sweet. 

“Thank you,” I smiled breaking the stem so I could wear it in my lapel. “I’m afraid I don’t have anything to give you though,” I frowned. 

“Sure you do,” he smiled while he leaned over and kissed me softly. It was warm and tender and made my toes curl up in my shoes. 

“Keep that up, you’re going to get more than you bargained for,” I chuckled. 

“I’m a very good negotiator,” he smiled. 

“This is so weird,” I suddenly laughed. 

“I feel like I’m dreaming,” he chuckled along. 

“Hiiro?” 

“Hm?”

“How do you want to handle the public thing?” I asked on a whim. 

“Does it bother you?” 

“No,” I decided rather quickly. “I guess it’s just nobody’s business,” I shrugged. 

“We’ll play it by ear, then,” he smiled, taking my hand, then we were there and it was time to do the war hero thing. 

**

Quatre and Relena had spared no expense, that’s for sure. The ball was being held at the ritziest place in town, The Belladonna. It’s where they held all the awards shows, movie debuts and political dinners, etc. There was the traditional runway we were expected to walk and I was wishing I’d opted for the usual tux when the flash bulbs started going off. The others had been processed through, save Quatre, who stood with Relena at the podium where we were to give a short interview to the press. Trowa hovered nearby, ever the supportive presence for his new lover and I wondered how they would handle the public thing in the days to come. I managed to tag two undercover fez heads with the little scythe stickers I’d printed up while we were standing in the queue, then it was our turn to step into the spotlight. Of course, it was Hiiro everyone was dying to talk to. 

“Mr. Yui!” the commentator enthused and I recognized her as one Ms. Sandra Cole, an actress/talk show hostess that was very popular at the time. “My, but don’t you both look wonderful,” she smiled and I noticed Relena looked a tad off balance, but she seemed to be holding up alright. She wasn’t puffy eyed, at least. “Hiiro,” she laughed. “May I call you Hiiro? My dear boy, where in the world have you been hiding yourself?”

“Good evening, Relena,” he greeted, ignoring the woman’s prattle. 

“Good evening.” she replied. 

“Hey, princess,” I smiled, but she only offered me a short sniff, and I got the feeling Hiiro told her more than he had let on. 

We were forced to endure what turned out to be two full minutes of fighting to keep our commentator on the subject of the war effort instead of our personal lives before we were allowed to enter the ball. 

It hadn’t crossed my mind until that moment, but that was the first time Hiiro had ever been interviewed in public and the first time anyone outside of our little group had seen him since the end of the war. However, it came across resoundingly well once we were inside and every eye in the place followed us wherever we went while we wandered for awhile. 

We caught sight of Wufei dancing with Sally shortly thereafter and Hilde had Trowa cornered over by the veranda so we headed that way to try and save him. He was obviously losing his patience with her, so I think we made it just in time. 

“Perhaps Duo would care to dance?” he said in an obvious attempt to pawn her off on me the moment we were within earshot. 

“Duo doesn’t know how to dance like this,” she sighed. 

“You don’t?” Hiiro smirked. 

“No, actually,” I retorted petulantly. “It wasn’t a requirement of street rat 101,” I quipped, ignoring the smirk on his face while I stuck my pinky out to sip my champagne.

“I’d rather dance with you, Trowa,” Hilde purred, and I flashed Hiiro a pleading glance. 

“I would be honored to dance with you, my lady,” he smiled, bowing slightly to her while he handed me his drink and she huffed, but couldn’t possibly turn him down without being rude, so they were soon spinning around with the rest of the dancers. 

“Thank you,” Trowa breathed. 

“I’ll have a talk with her,” I chuckled. 

“Are you going to keep the junk yard?” he asked. 

Hn. I really hadn’t thought about what happened next. As long as Hiiro and I were together it didn’t really matter. 

“I don’t know,” I confessed. “What about you? Are you going back to the circus?”

“No,” he replied without hesitation. 

“Won’t Catherine be upset?”

“She threatened to park the caravan in his backyard,” he chortled. 

“So you told her everything?” I asked, and he nodded and I got to watch his eyes light up when Quatre made his way towards us. 

“You guys are really good together,” I told him before his little, blond lover stole all of his attention away and I got my answer as to how they intended to handle the public thing when Quatre stepped openly into his arms. They weren’t obvious, but it was very clear they didn’t care who saw. It was a bit frightening to think about exposing the inner workings of my heart like that. I didn’t think I could go that far. 

I spotted Wufei talking to some of the bigger money handlers in the colonies, no doubt hedging benefits for his new job since he was shining like polished brass and talking very fast. Relena was hovering around the main entrance doing her hostess bit, but I noticed Billy was standing nearby keeping a pretty close eye on her. With a little luck, maybe he was the reason her eyes weren’t puffy. I hoped so. He really seemed to have it bad for the girl. Hiiro danced Hilde around the floor looking as handsome as I have ever seen him and Trowa was inspired to edge Quatre down the hallway beside us and dance him around a little, too. All in all things were looking up for our little group. I smiled to myself and decided to step out onto the veranda and just coast for a minute. A minute was all I got before I heard steps behind me and warm, strong arms enfolded me and I grinned and laid back into Hiiro’s chest. 

“I can’t believe you don’t know how to dance,” he chuckled kissing my hair. 

“It never came up,” I smiled. 

“Dance with me?” he breathed into my ear, and I think I could have flown if he’d wanted me to. He turned me in his arms slipping his right arm around my waist and taking my hand in his while he gazed into my eyes and whispered softly, “You are the most beautiful soul I have ever encountered,” and suddenly I felt as if the ground had disappeared from beneath our feet when he began to turn us around. 

It was so wonderful just being with him. All the secrets of his heart were laid bare right there in his eyes. It was as if someone had reached in and lifted a veil and suddenly the shadows had cleared. It wasn’t long before the welling emotions and rhythm of the dance had me dizzy with delight and I heard him chuckle warmly while he pulled me close and bent to nuzzle my ear. 

“I can hardly believe this is real,” he thrummed, tickling the tender skin on my neck with his lips and I gasped and cringed under the force of the heat that washed through me. 

His answer to my reaction was to growl throatily and kiss me and what remained of the world simply melted away. There was nothing but Hiiro, his arms, his lips and those amazing eyes all reaching out for me sent such a thrill through me I was strained just to remain on my feet. 

“Can we leave now?” I whimpered when he released my mouth, and he chuckled warmly again. 

“Gods, I love you,” he smiled, holding me close there in the solace of our little retreat, and suddenly he looked very... amused. I know my mouth fell open. I must have looked like a complete idiot standing there staring like a carp, but I really had not expected that. It was in me to return the declaration, but it just seemed so preteen after his had slipped free with such elegant honesty. 

“I…I…” I stammered. 

“I know,” he laughed lightly turning us around. “It shows,” he informed me, but then we were suddenly aware of our audience and stopped. 

The expression on Relena’s face where she stood just inside the door and watched us dance was pained, but there appeared to be some form of remorseful acceptance in her eyes. Maybe actually having seen for herself that Hiiro had told her the truth would help her move on. I hoped so. She would need all the support she could get in the months to come, but from the way Billy was following her around I didn’t think she’d find herself lacking in that department. She paused for a moment longer, then turned and joined her childhood friend, disappearing into the milling crowd.

“Do you think she’ll be okay?” 

“She’ll be fine,” he reassured, going back to nuzzling my neck and I laughed. 

“Keep that up, we’re not going to make it back to the house,” I warned. 

“You’re not leaving already?” Quatre inquired in this even, amused tone when he and Trowa walked out onto the veranda, and I’m afraid I jumped like a stuck pig and blushed all the way down to my toes. 

“Please,” Trowa entreated around that damned little smirk of his. “Don’t mind us.” 

“The party’s great, Quat,” I smiled ignoring the ex-mercenary altogether. “You guys did a great job.”

“Yes,” he chuckled. “We hired the best,” and that was the end of that line of praise. 

“Trowa!” 

I saw Quatre stall for a moment and Trowa actually squeezed his eyes shut at the sound of Hilde’s bright voice and I felt bad for everyone involved. I should have taken her aside before, but I’d been a little…distracted. 

“Hi, Duo,” she smiled coming to join us. 

“Hey, you want something to drink?” I asked hoping to get her to follow me, but she just shook her head and took up a spot beside Trowa while Sally meandered by the doorway and, seeing our group, drifted our way.

“Hi, Sally,” I grinned. “Where’s Wufei?”

“Frightening chubby, little men out of their inheritance,” she smirked. 

“Still?” Quatre chuckled, and once again I found his ability toward open affection for his lover oddly comforting when he absently leaned into Trowa’s chest. However, something flashed through Hilde’s eyes that suddenly set me ill at ease when I realized she was about to be educated. 

“Trowa?” she smiled. “Would you like to dance with me now?” I saw the suspicion in her eyes, and could tell she just didn’t want to face the facts. 

“I was just wondering if you’d like something to drink, actually,” Trowa replied, only he was talking to Quatre when he said it while Hilde’s face fell and I steadied myself for the blow. 

“Yes, please,” Quatre smiled ducking his head slightly in a kind attempt not to throw it up in her face too harshly, but it appeared that Trowa had had enough and meant to put an end to her advances once and for all. 

“I’ll be right back,” he told his smaller, blond lover as he slipped a hand behind his neck to gently cradle his head while he gave him a short, soft kiss. 

Quatre was shaken and blushing like a schoolgirl when he pulled away, but that only seemed to delight Trowa even more and he graced us all with a warm, true smile when he asked, “Anyone else?” 

No one took him up on the offer, then he was gone and the tension was suddenly just stifling. I could see the turmoil rolling in my roommate’s eyes and felt the overwhelming need to just grab her up and give her a hug, but the situation wouldn’t allow for it, then her bottom lip was trembling while she stared into Quatre’s apologetic eyes. The next thing I knew all that was left of her was the tail end of her sash as she burst into tears and ran away. 

“Hilde!” I called starting after her, but Sally stopped me with a firm hand on my arm. 

“Let me,” she insisted. 

“She’s my friend,” I argued. 

“There are some things a man simply cannot understand,” she informed me stepping forward to take the path I had intended for myself. “Relax, Duo, I’d like to look after her,” she said softly leaning a bit closer and I’m not exactly sure how I felt about it when she added a quiet, “Not everybody’s het, you know?” then glided confidently after my despondent roommate. I watched for a moment while she cut purposefully through the crowd and was suddenly reminded of a shark on the hunt. 

“Let her go,” Hiiro chuckled. 

“But…” I countered, but I didn’t follow. 

“She’ll see to her,” he assured me, pulling me back to his side. 

“Yeah,” I grumbled. “That’s what I’m afraid of.” 

“I’m sorry, Duo,” Quatre offered. 

“It’s not your fault,” I sighed. “She’ll get over it. It was just a crush anyway.”

Sally and Hilde never resurfaced that night and we spent the remainder of the evening doing the public awareness thing. There was a sort of awards ceremony to honor some of the people who had aided the clean up effort and a speech given by the Mayor of L4. Quatre and Relena were asked to speak as well, and I took the opportunity to wander the room and tag a few more fez heads. Information was handed out on where contributions could be made and how everyone could help on a daily basis and, all in all, the gala was very successful. 

They were starting to wind it down with a summary recap when I felt something in Hiiro’s manner shift. It was subtle, but the way he felt when he moved in close behind me where I hung back watching the proceedings made me a little dizzy. I knew without a doubt something was up when I felt his hands rest gently on my hips and the heat of his chest against my back, then his mouth was next to my ear and it was all I could do not to fall back into his arms right then and there. 

“It’s time,” he whispered and the pure need in his voice washed my skin with prickly heat. He had only to gently guide me and we were on our way out of the hall. I really didn’t think anyone noticed us leave, but I can’t say I was paying all that much attention. He led me to a small, black convertible parked in the ally behind the Belladonna, kissed me warmly while he tucked me inside, then took us away from there. 

It was such a rush to finally have him all to myself. We laughed at each other when we both reached for our ties to take them off at the same time. The earlier tension seemed to have disappeared, leaving nothing but me and my best friend and the clean night air. I didn’t bother asking what it was all about because I knew he wouldn’t tell me, so I consoled myself with the knowledge that somehow my life had finally come together. It still felt so surreal when he reached out to take my hand, but I felt the warmth of it and knew the truth of it in my heart. He loved me. I was in awe of that fact, but I believed in it. He really loved me and I would cherish him until the day I died. 

“The spaceport?” I deduced when he turned us that way. 

“Close your eyes,” he teased. 

“Get a grip,” I retorted. 

It became obvious we were not returning to the Winner Estate that night when he led me aboard ship. It was just a small port hopper. Nothing fancy, but had the amenities for a good long visit among the stars. My mind was still playing with the possibilities that fact offered while I strapped into the copilot’s seat and Hiiro slid into the captain’s chair beside me. He kept glancing at me with this weird, little smile that was about to burst with hidden secrets, but he still hadn’t let on anything more than what I’d been able to deduce myself. We were clear of the colony and enjoying that raw edged freedom that only comes from being that close to freefall before my mind settled enough that I started noticing the little signs that told me the ship was no weekend rental. 

The grips on the yoke before me were custom, for one. They were fashioned after those only found in the cockpit of a Gundam. There were indications that the systems installed were not the usual regulation code when I got to playing around with the console as well, but it was the weapons array hidden in the arm rests of my chair that clinched the deal. 

“Hiiro,” I said, running my fingers lightly over the controls of some very sophisticated weaponry. “This ship…”

“Is my home,” he finished for me reaching over to take my hand in his.

“So why the arsenal?” I had to ask. 

“I am an active Preventer,” he grinned kissing my fingers. 

“You’re working for Une?” 

“I work to protect the peace,” he replied. 

“You plan on shoving a rocket launcher up its ass?” I quipped, and he laughed right out loud. It was a really wonderful sound that made me kind of tingly all over. 

“The Lady has taken to calling me the ‘Machine,’” he chuckled waggling his eyebrows in such a silly manor I couldn’t help giggling. “They don’t need me much right now,” he went on while he set the autopilot on what I recognized as an endless orbit around the moon. “I’m only called in when they have no other recourse,” he explained. “In the meantime,” he grinned releasing the lock on our chairs so he could swivel us around to face each other, “There’s plenty of time to catch up on all the things we’ve missed out on.” His smile then was one of hopeful invitation and I felt my chest shudder when he moved closer to me. 

“We?” I croaked, swallowing the huge lump that had risen in my ever tightening throat. 

“Stay with me, Duo,” he breathed softly slipping smoothly into my personal space. 

“S…stay?” Gods, he was so close. I couldn’t think. 

“I want you with me,” he confessed, reaching to run his knuckles down my cheek while I leaned into the tantalizing caress and his actions were kindling a fire inside me that was feeding on whatever coherent thoughts that tried to form. I couldn’t get a handle on what the consequences of what he was proposing would be. “I want you to be my partner again,” he went on while he leaned in and kissed me gently, and another tier of the now distant logic for which my mind was grasping crumbled and fell away. “I want you to be my life,” he whispered against my lips and I suddenly understood that the mission was over. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered to me more than knowing he was happy and whole, and the fact that it was me that had made him so was so overwhelming everything else in the universe just fractured and blew away under the searing heat of his kiss. 

I couldn’t speak just then, and I really don’t think he expected me to answer because he had no intention of releasing my mouth for something as trivial as speech. I never imagined anything could feel so good. He is the essence of charitable fortitude, satin over steel. It truly amazes me when I am confronted with the fact that he is as physically powerful as he is righteously determined. Hands that I have seen bend steel bars were slipping under my shirt and I suddenly felt very frail and vulnerable in his arms. I am quick and clever, but I am not brawny and I knew I couldn’t have stopped him if I wanted to, but then, I had no desire for it to end. I never wanted it to end. 

I knew I would accept his offer before he ever picked me up out of that chair, but that knowledge could wait. At that moment all I cared about was holding him to me, nurturing the heat of his passion while I finally got to touch the soul of the only person I would ever love. He took me to his…our cabin…and laid me down and loved me until I thought I would lose my mind. There is an intensity inside him, a light so bright it burns and by the time the veil of desire lifted enough for us to take a deep breath, I could feel his name had been etched forever into my heart. There was no going back, I’d never survive. 

“What is it?” he asked softly still lying comfortably atop me in our bed. Our bed. Hn. We really needed new sheets. Plain white?

“I love you,” I was compelled to tell him. 

“Really?” he smiled knowingly, reaching up to kiss my nose. “I hadn’t noticed,” he grinned, offering the same to my lips and I chuckled at his joke, but was feeling a little too significant to let it lie. 

“I really do,” I told him again and it got me another smile and kiss. 

“Then my work here is done,” he grinned. 

“Finished already?” I teased, raising my hips into his and he groaned because we were still coupled, then I was the one hissing and arching back because he wasn’t about to let me get away with that and he did have the upper hand after all. The playfulness dissipated fairly quickly, and I once again found myself on the rising tide while he laid little kisses along my neck and rocked us gently. 

“Hiiro?” I moaned softy. 

“Hn?”

“You think Hilde will really be alright?”

“Sally will look after her,” he assured me, then kissed me and reminded me that there were more pressing issues to think about. 

It was bugging me that Hilde wasn’t gay, but I let it go. Sally would never force herself on anyone, I was sure of that. My mind drifted a little as I ran my hands down the hard, rippled and now familiar plains of his back and I wondered how it had been for Quatre when he and Trowa finally consummated their love. I thought about Wufei and the possibility that perhaps he would finally find someone now that he was able to pursue a life that was more attuned to his true character. I said a small prayer for Billy, then I forgot anything but the warmth of Hiiro’s body and the ‘zero’ intensity of his feelings for me. 

Things were starting to heat up between us to that point where we realized it wasn’t going to end with just kissing and I felt the shift in his need when his breathing became erratic. It caused a shiver inside me making my limbs tremble, then suddenly he was kissing me so fiercely it almost frightened me. 

“Duo?” he ground out suddenly and the sound of it was pained and pleading and I knew it for the multitude of questions it was. 

He wanted to know that I would stay. He wanted to know that I loved him. He needed to know that this was all real, that it wasn’t going to fade away. He wanted me to willingly give myself to him. He wanted forever and I heard it in my voice, the ultimate surrender to my fate, the unmitigated resolve of my determination to see to it that he got everything he wanted when I instantly replied…

“Yes.” 

owari :)

**Author's Note:**

> Write it, draw it, create it, sing it, SHARE IT. ~ Sunhawk 2019


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